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Tyler
Diana Palmer
With only a quick glance at Nell Regan, a man might miss the beauty in the shy face, or the sexy figure hidden beneath the shapeless clothes. Nell had learned the hard way that she had nothing to offer a man. Her future was here, running her Arizona dude ranch…alone. Then Tyler Jacobs arrived… a man who knew what it was like to be alone and alienated.He yearned to kiss away the pain he saw in Nell's deep brown eyes. But Nell wasn't about to mistake kindness for love. Not again.Yet would denying her own desire destroy her one chance for happiness?
Tyler
Diana Palmer
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
Contents
Cover (#udc987baa-4a07-5bd3-8355-f9ef0d810f7e)
Title Page (#u42b26040-b41c-5c7b-b68e-439076c8b6e5)
Chapter One (#ulink_fbc52a41-cb08-582d-aeeb-203100bce3a3)
Chapter Two (#ulink_309433c0-19fd-5f0c-a36d-0214d3ee88e7)
Chapter Three (#ulink_27959f23-88b7-5ff5-9598-769015de7c9e)
Chapter Four (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Five (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Six (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Seven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eight (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eleven (#litres_trial_promo)
Extract (#litres_trial_promo)
Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter One (#ulink_2498db87-abbf-51c3-81f1-722bb47d8e21)
To Tyler Jacobs, the hot arid southeastern Arizona landscape still seemed about as welcoming as Mars, even after six weeks of working on the Double R dude ranch near Tombstone.
He was restless and vaguely depressed. He’d taken a day off to fly to Jacobsville for his sister, Shelby’s, wedding to Justin Ballenger, a man she’d refused to marry years ago. Tyler was still puzzled by the courtship. They hadn’t looked the picture of a happy couple, and he knew that Justin had been bitter toward Shelby for breaking their earlier engagement.
But it wasn’t any of his business; he had to keep that in mind. And better to see Shelby married to Justin, who was old-fashioned enough to keep his marriage vows, than to see her mixed up with the local playboy attorney she worked for. Maybe things would work out for them. If the way Shelby had looked at Justin was any indication, they had to work out. She was obviously still deeply in love with him.
Abby and Calhoun had been at the wedding, too, and Tyler was relieved to find that his brief infatuation with Abby was over. He’d been ready to settle down and was unconsciously looking for the right kind of woman. Abby had fit the bill in every respect, but he wasn’t nursing a broken heart. His eyes narrowed in thought. He wondered if he was capable of loving a woman. Sometimes he felt that he was impervious to anything more than surface interest. Of course, there was always the woman who could hit a man hard before he knew it. A woman like Nell Regan, with her unexpected vulnerabilities and compassion…
Even as the unwelcome thought touched his mind, his pale green eyes narrowed on a rider approaching from the direction of the ranch house.
He sighed, glaring through the endless creosote bushes. They dominated the landscape all the way to the Dragoon Mountains, one of Cochise’s old strongholds back in the mid-1800s. The “monsoon season” had almost passed. Today it was on the verge of a hundred degrees, and damn what they said about the dry heat not being hot. Sweat was pouring down his dark olive complexion from the sweatband of his gray Stetson, soaking his Western-cut chambray shirt. He took his hat from his jet-black hair and drew his forearm over the wetness while he got his bearings. Out here one stretch of valley looked much like any other, and the mountain ranges went on forever. If elbowroom was what a man wanted, he could sure get it in Arizona.
He’d been out in the brush trying to round up some stray Hereford calves, while his worn leather chaps were treated to the double jeopardy of cholla and prickly pear cactus where the creosote wasn’t so thick. Nothing grew around creosote. Having smelled the green bush, especially in the rain, he could understand why.
Before the rider got much closer, Tyler realized that it was Nell. And something was wrong, because she usually kept the length of the ranch between them. Their relationship had become strained unexpectedly, and that saddened him. It had seemed as though he and Nell would be friends at their first meeting, when she’d picked him up at the Tucson airport. But all too soon something had sent Nell running from him.
Perhaps that was for the best. He was earning a living, but not much more, and all his wealth was gone. He had nothing to offer a woman like Nell. All the same, he felt guilty if he’d hurt her, even inadvertently. She didn’t talk about the past, and neither did anyone else. But Tyler knew that something had happened to make her wary and distrustful of men. She deliberately downplayed the few attractions she had, as if she was determined not to do anything that would catch a man’s eye. Tyler had gotten close to her at first, because he’d thought of her as a cute little kid. She’d been so anxious to make him comfortable, sneaking him feather pillows and all kinds of little things from the house to make him feel at home. He’d flirted with her gently, teased her, delighted in her shy company. And then, like lightning, the housekeeper had made him see that the child he was playing with was really a twenty-four-year-old woman who was misinterpreting his teasing. From that night on, he and Nell had somehow become strangers. She avoided him, except at the obligatory square dance with guests twice a month.
Nell did seem to find him useful in one respect. She still hid behind him at those every-other-Saturday-night barn dances. The way she clung to him was the only crumb left of their easy first acquaintance. But it was vaguely insulting, too. She didn’t consider him a threat in any sexual way, or she’d have run screaming from his presence. He’d made some hard remarks about Nell to his sister, Shelby, but he hadn’t really meant them. He hadn’t wanted anyone to realize how Nell was getting to him.
He sighed, watching her approach. Well, she wasn’t dressed to fan a man’s ardor, in those baggy jeans and blouse and slouch hat, and that was a good thing. He found her shyness and his odd sense of empathy for her disturbing enough without the added complication of an exquisite figure. He frowned, wondering what she looked like under that baggy camouflage. As if he’d ever find out, he thought, laughing bitterly. He’d already scared her off.
He wasn’t a conceited man, but he was used to women. His money had always attracted the beautiful ones, and whatever he wanted, he got. And so, being snubbed by the stone girl stung his pride.
“Have you found those strays yet?” Nell asked with faint nervousness as she reined in beside him.
“I’ve only gone through five thousand miles,” he murmured with soft antagonism. “Wherever they are, they’re probably enjoying the luxury of enough water to drink. God knows, except in the monsoon season, they’d need a divining rod or second sight in this barren wasteland to find any.”
Nell searched his hard face quietly. “You don’t like Arizona, do you?”
“It’s foreign.” He turned his gaze toward the horizon, where jagged mountains seemed to change color as the sun shifted, first dark, then mauve, then orange. “This takes some getting used to, and I’ve only been out here a few weeks.”
“I grew up here,” she remarked. “I love it. It only looks barren. If you see it up close, there’s all kinds of life.”
“Horny toads, rattlesnakes, Gila monsters…” he agreed dryly.
“Red-winged blackbirds, cactus wrens, roadrunners, owls, deer,” she corrected. “Not to mention wildflowers by the score. Even the cacti bloom,” she added, and there was a sudden softness in her dark eyes, a warmth in her voice that was usually missing.
He bent his head to light a cigarette. “It looks like desert to me. How’s your trail ride coming?”
“I left the guests with Chappy,” she said with a sigh. “Mr. Howes looked as if one more bounce would put him on the ground. I hope he makes it back to the ranch.”
Tyler smiled slightly as he glanced at her rigid figure in the saddle. “If he falls off, we’ll need a crane to get him back on.”
Nell grinned without meaning to. He wouldn’t know it, but he was the first man in years who’d been able to make her smile. She was a somber, quiet woman most of the time, except when Tyler was around. Then she’d found out what he really thought of her….
“Tyler, could you take over the camp out for me?” she asked unexpectedly. “Marguerite and the boys are coming for the weekend, and I have to go into Tucson and get them.”
“I can handle it, if you’ll persuade Crowbait to cook,” he agreed. “I’m not making biscuits again. I’ll quit first.”
“Crowbait isn’t so bad,” she defended. “He’s—” her dark eyes narrowed as she searched for a word “—unique.”
“He has the temperament of a cougar, the tongue of a cobra and the manners of a bull in heat,” Tyler said shortly.
She nodded. “Exactly! He’s unique.”
He chuckled and took another draw from his cigarette. “Well, boss lady, I’d better get those strays before somebody with an itchy trigger finger has beef for supper. I won’t be long.”
“The boys want to go looking for Apache arrowheads while they’re here,” she added hesitantly. “I told them I’d ask you.”
“Your nephews are nice kids,” he said unexpectedly. “They need a firmer hand than they get, though.”
“Marguerite isn’t the ideal parent for two high-strung boys,” Nell said defensively. “And since Ted died, it’s been worse. My brother could handle them.”
“Marguerite needs a husband.” He smiled at the thought of Marguerite. She was like the life he’d been used to—sophisticated and uncomplicated and pretty. He liked her because she brought back sweet memories. She was, in fact, all the things Nell wasn’t. “But a dish like Margie shouldn’t have much trouble finding one.”
Nell knew her sister-in-law was beautiful, but it hurt somewhere deep inside to hear Tyler acknowledge Margie’s good looks. Nell was only too aware of her own limitations, of her round face and big eyes and high cheekbones. She nodded, though, and forced a smile to her unlipsticked mouth. She never wore makeup. She never did anything to draw attention to her…until recently. She’d tried to attract Tyler, but Bella’s comments had killed the notion. Tyler’s subsequent behavior had buried it.
Now Nell knew better than to make eyes at Tyler. Besides, Margie was just his style, she thought bitterly. And Margie was interested, too.
“I’ll go into Tucson, then, if you’re sure about the camp out. And if you can’t find those strays by five, come back in and we’ll let your Texas friends look for them in the morning,” she added, referring to two of the older hands who shared a Texas background with Tyler and had become fast friends of his in the six weeks he’d been in residence.
“I’ll find them,” he said carelessly. “All I have to do is look for a puddle of water, and they’ll be standing on their heads in it.”
“You already know not to sit in any dips or washes,” she murmured. “Out here is even worse than in Texas. It can be raining twenty miles away and the sky can be clear, and before you know it, you’re in a floodplain.”
“We have flash floods where I come from,” he reminded her. “I know the dangers.”
“I was just reminding you,” she said, and hated the concern that she’d unwittingly betrayed.
His eyes narrowed and he smiled unpleasantly, stung by her condescending attitude. “When I need a nursemaid, honey, I’ll advertise,” he said in a pronounced Texas drawl.
Nell steeled herself not to react to what was blatantly an insult. “If you have a chance tomorrow, I’d like you to speak to Marlowe about his language. One of the guests complained that she was getting tired of hearing him swear every time he saddled a horse for her.”
“Why can’t you tell him?”
She swallowed. “You’re the foreman. Isn’t keeping the men in line your job?”
“If you say so, ma’am.” He tipped his hat with faint insolence, and she wheeled her mount too quickly, almost unseating herself in the process when she pulled on the bit too hard. She urged the horse into a trot and soothed him, stroking his mane as she apologized. She knew Tyler had seen that betraying action, and she felt even worse. She was the last person on the ranch who’d ever hurt a horse voluntarily, but Tyler had a talent for stoking her temper.
He watched her go, his cigarette smoking, forgotten, in his lean, tanned fingers. Nell was a puzzle. She wasn’t like any woman he’d ever known, and she had quirks that intrigued him. He was sorry they’d become antagonists. Even when she was pleasant, there was always the reserve, the bitter holding back. She seemed to become rigid when she had to talk to him.
He sighed. He didn’t have time for daydreaming. He had to find six little red-and-white-coated calves before dark. He turned his horse and moved into the thick brush.
Nell dawdled on her way back to the adobe ranch house. She wasn’t anxious to have Marguerite around, but she hadn’t been able to find an excuse to keep the redhead away. Tyler’s remark about her sister-in-law still rankled. He found Marguerite attractive, and it wasn’t because of Nell that Marguerite was finding reasons to spend time on the dude ranch. She wanted Tyler. She’d made it obvious with her flirting.
Marguerite was beautiful, all right. She was redheaded, green eyed, and blessed with a figure that looked good in anything. She and Nell got along fairly well, as long as neither of them looked back nine years. It had been Marguerite who’d helped put the scars on Nell’s young emotions. Nell had never been able to forget what had happened.
On the other hand, it wasn’t until Tyler came that Nell really noticed how often Marguerite used her. She was impulsive and thought nothing of inviting her friends out to the ranch for horseback rides or of leaving her two young sons in Nell’s care.
Those actions had never bothered Nell very much until lately. Recently, Nell had been feeling oddly restless and stubborn. She didn’t like the idea of Marguerite coming for two weekends in the same month. She should have said so. Giving in to her sister-in-law had become a habit, the way of least resistance. But not anymore. She’d already given Marguerite some unmistakable signals that little Nell wasn’t going to be walked over anymore.
Margie only came out to see the Texan, Nell was sure of it. She felt a sense of regret for what she might have felt for Tyler if he hadn’t made his lack of interest so apparent. But that was just as well. Margie had made it obvious that she liked Tyler, and Nell knew she was no competition for the older woman. On the other hand, she was pretty tired of letting Margie use her for a doormat. It was time to say so.
* * *
Her sister-in-law and her nephews, Jess and Curt, were already packed and waiting when Nell parked the Ford Tempo at the steps of their apartment. The boys, redheaded and green eyed like their mother, made a beeline for her. At seven, Jess was the oldest. Curt was five and already a contender for a talking marathon.
“Hi, Aunt Nell, how about taking us to hunt lizards?” Curt asked as he clambered into the back seat a jump ahead of his taller brother.
“Never mind lizards, nerd,” Jess muttered, “I want to look for arrowheads. Tyler said he’d show me where to look.”
“I reminded him,” Nell assured the older boy. “I’ll go lizard hunting with Curt.”
“Lizards make my skin crawl,” Marguerite said. She wasn’t quite as tall as Nell, but she was equally slender. She was wearing a green-and-white striped dress that looked as expensive as the diamond studs in her ears and the ruby ring on her right hand. She’d stopped wearing her wedding band recently—just since Tyler came to the ranch, in fact.
“Well, if I get a lizard, he can live with me,” Curt told his mother belligerently.
Nell laughed, seeing her brother in the small boy’s firm jaw and jutting chin. It made her a little sad, but it had been two years since Ted had died, and the worst of the grief had worn off. “Can he, now?”
“Not in my house,” Marguerite said firmly. After her husband had died, Margie had taken her share of the ranch in cash and moved to the city. Margie had never really liked ranch life.
“Then he can live with Aunt Nell, so there.”
“Stop talking back, you little terror.” Marguerite yawned. “I do hope all the air conditioners are working this time, Nell. I hate the heat. And you’d better have Bella stock up on Perrier—there’s no way I’m drinking water out of that well.”
Nell got in under the wheel without any comment. Marguerite always sounded like a conquering army. It was annoying and sometimes frankly embarrassing to have Margie ordering her around and taking things for granted. Nell had taken it for a long time, out of loyalty to her late brother, and because the boys would suffer if she didn’t. But it was hard going, and until just recently she’d taken a lot from Marguerite. It was only when Marguerite began making a dead set at Tyler that Nell had started talking back. And now that she’d gotten the hang of it, she rather liked not being talked down to and told what to do. She stared at her sister-in-law coldly while the boys argued in the back seat about who got the middle and who got a window seat.
“The ranch is mine,” she reminded Marguerite quietly. “Uncle Ted is in charge until I turn twenty-five, but after that, I’m sole owner. Remember the terms of my father’s will—my brother got half and I got half. Uncle Ted was executor. Then when my brother died, you got his share of the ranch in cash. As executor, Uncle Ted keeps control until I come of age. You don’t give orders to me, and you don’t get special consideration just because you’re an in-law.”
Marguerite stared. It wasn’t like Nell to fight back so fiercely. “Nell, I didn’t mean to sound like that,” she began hesitantly.
“I haven’t forgotten what happened nine years ago, even if you’re trying to,” Nell added quietly.
The older woman actually went bloodred. She looked away. “I’m sorry. I know you don’t believe that, but I really am. I’ve had to live with it, too. Ted despised me for it, you know. Things were never the same between us after I had that party. I still miss him, very much,” she added in a soft, conciliatory tone, with a glance in Nell’s direction.
“Sure you do,” Nell agreed as she started the car. “That’s why you’re dressed to the teeth and finding excuses to suffer the heat at the ranch. Because you miss Ted so much, and you want to console yourself with my hired help.”
Marguerite gasped, but Nell ignored the sound. She pulled out into traffic and started telling the boys about the new calves, which kept the older woman quiet during the drive home.
As usual, when Bella saw Marguerite coming in the front door, the buxom housekeeper went out the back door on the pretense of carrying an apple pie over to the bunkhouse. On the way there she ran into Tyler, who looked tired and dusty and half out of humor.
“What are you doing out here?” he asked, grinning at the older woman with her black scowl.
“Hiding out,” Bella said grumpily, pushing back strands of salt-and-pepper hair while her black eyes glittered. “She’s back,” she added icily.
“She?”
“Her Majesty. Lady Leisure.” She shifted the pie. “Just what Nell needs, more people to take care of. That lazy redhead hasn’t lifted a finger since poor Ted drowned in a dry wash. And if you knew what that flighty ex-model had done to Nell…” She flushed as she remembered who she was talking to. She cleared her throat. “I baked the men a pie.”
“You baked me a pie,” Nell muttered, glaring at her housekeeper as she came out of the back door. “And now you’re giving it away because my sister-in-law is here. The boys like pie, too, you know. And Margie won’t spoil her figure with sweets, anyway.”
“She’ll spoil my day,” Bella shot back. “Wanting this, wanting that, make the bed, bring her a towel, cook her an omelet… She can’t be bothered to pick up a shoe or carry a cup of coffee, no, not her. She’s too good to work.”
“Don’t air the dirty linen out here,” Nell said shortly, glancing at Tyler.
Bella lifted her small chin. “He’s not blind,” she said. “He knows what goes on here.”
“Take my pie back in the house,” Nell told her.
Bella glared at her. “She’s not getting a bite of it.”
“Tell her.”
The older woman nodded curtly. “Don’t think I won’t.” She glanced at Tyler and grinned. “You can have a slice, though.”
He took off his hat and bowed. “I’ll eat every crumb twice.”
She laughed gleefully and went back inside.
“Aren’t you late for the camp out?” Nell asked curiously.
“We canceled it,” he replied. “Mr. Curtis fell into a cactus and Mrs. Sims got sick on the chili we had at lunch and had to go to bed. The rest figured they’d rather watch television.”
Nell smiled faintly. “Oh, well. The best laid plans… We’ll try it again on the weekend.”
Tyler studied her quietly, his eyes narrowed in thought. “About this afternoon…” he began, holding Nell’s surprised gaze.
But before he could say another word, the door behind Nell swung open.
“Why, Tyler, how nice to see you again,” Marguerite said laughingly, pausing in the doorway.
“Nice to see you again, Mrs. Regan,” he replied dryly, and there was a world of knowledge in the pale green eyes that swept lazily down her slender body. Marguerite couldn’t take him in with that strategic pose. He knew too much. But it was amusing to watch her try.
Nell wanted to throw herself down in the dust and cry, but that wouldn’t have done any good. She went back inside, giving up without a struggle.
Marguerite gave her a curious glance, but Nell didn’t even look at her. If she wanted Tyler, she was welcome to him, Nell thought miserably. After all, she had nothing to give him herself.
Supper was a quiet affair, except for the boys squabbling over everything from milk to beans.
“Tyler is taking me riding tomorrow,” Marguerite said, giving Nell an apprehensive glance. “You’ll mind the boys, won’t you?”
Nell looked up. She felt rebellious. Restless. “As a matter of fact, I can’t,” she said with a faint smile. “Take them with you. Tyler’s already said he wouldn’t mind helping them find arrowheads.”
“Sure!” Jess burst out. “I’d love to go.”
“I’ll go, too,” Curt said.
Marguerite looked annoyed. “I don’t want you along.”
“You don’t love us,” Jess wailed.
“You never did,” Curt seconded, and he started to cry.
Marguerite threw up her hands. “See what you’ve done now!” she accused Nell.
“I haven’t done anything except refuse to be your doormat.” Nell finished her potatoes. “I don’t remember inviting you here,” she replied coolly. “Don’t expect me to entertain you or baby-sit for you.”
“You always have before,” Marguerite reminded her.
“That was before,” Nell replied. “I’m not doing it anymore. You’ll have to take care of yourself.”
“Who’s been talking to you?” Marguerite asked, fascinated.
“Nobody has,” Nell replied. “I’m just tired of holding up the world. Why don’t you get a job?”
Marguerite’s gasp was audible, but Nell had gotten up and left the table before she had time for any outbursts.
* * *
Tyler took Marguerite and the boys riding the next morning. Marguerite did look good in a riding habit, Nell had to concede, but the redhead was obviously out of sorts at having the boys along. Tyler hadn’t fussed about taking the boys, either. He liked children. Nell smiled. She liked them, too, but it was Marguerite’s job to be their mother, not Nell’s.
She wandered out to the kitchen and picked up a biscuit, having refused breakfast because she hadn’t wanted to hear Margie raising cain about the boys going along on her romantic ride.
“And what’s eating you, as if I didn’t know?” Bella asked.
Nell laughed. “Nothing at all.”
“You’ve got Margie running for cover. Imagine, you talking back to her and refusing to be pushed around. Are you sick or something?” she added, her keen old eyes probing.
Nell bit into the biscuit. “Not at all. I’m just tired of being worked to death, I guess.”
“And watching Margie flirt with Tyler, I’ve no doubt.”
Nell glared at the older woman. “Stop that. You know I don’t like him.”
“You like him. Maybe it’s my fault that things never got going between you,” Bella confessed gently. “I was trying to spare you more heartache, or I’d never have said anything when you put on that pretty dress….”
Nell turned away. She didn’t like being reminded of that day. “He isn’t my type,” she said gruffly. “He’s Margie’s type.”
“That’s what you think,” Bella murmured dryly. She put her towel down and stood staring at the other woman. “I’ve wanted to tell you for years that most men are nice critters. Some of them are even domesticated. All men aren’t like Darren McAnders,” she added, watching Nell’s face go pale. “And he wasn’t even that bad except when he was pushed into getting drunk. He loved Margie.”
“And I loved him,” Nell said coldly. “He flirted with me and teased me, just like Tyler did at first. And then he did…he did that to me, and it wasn’t even because he was attracted to me. It was just to make Margie jealous!”
“It was despicable,” Bella agreed. “But it was worse for you because you cared about him, and you felt betrayed and used. It was a good thing I happened upstairs when I did.”
“Yes,” Nell said tautly. The memories hurt.
“But it wasn’t as bad as you’ve always made it out to be, either,” Bella said firmly, ignoring the shocked look she got from Nell. “It wasn’t,” she added. “If you’d ever gone out with boys or had a date, you’d understand what happened a lot better. You hadn’t even been kissed—”
“Stop it,” Nell muttered miserably. She stuck her hands in her jeans and shifted. “It doesn’t matter, anyway. I’m plain and countrified and no man is ever going to want me, no matter what I do. And I heard what Tyler said that night,” she added with a cold glare. “I heard every word. He said he didn’t want a �lovesick tomboy hanging on to his boots.’”
Bella sighed. “So you did hear him. I was afraid that’s why he was getting the deep-freeze treatment lately.”
“It doesn’t matter, you know,” Nell said with deliberate carelessness. “It’s just as well I found out early that I was annoying him. I’ve been careful not to bother him since.”
Bella started to say something, but obviously thought better of it. “How long is Her Highness here for?”
“Just until tomorrow afternoon, thank God.” Nell sighed. “I’d better get cracking. We’re going riding, and then this afternoon I’ve got a busload of shoppers to take into town. I thought I’d run them over to the El Con mall. They might like to get some real Western gear at Cooper’s.”
“The silversmiths are over near San Xavier,” she was reminded. “And they could have some Papago fry bread for refreshments.”
—Tohono o’odham,“ Nell corrected automatically. “That’s a real Papago word, meaning people of the desert. They changed it because they got tired of being called ’bean people’ in Zuni.”
“I can’t say that,” Bella muttered.
“Sure you can. Tohono o’odham. Anyway, the fry bread is a good idea if we have any time left from the shopping.”
“Are any of the husbands tagging along?” Bella asked.
Nell pursed her lips. “Do you think I’d look this cheerful if the men were coming with us?”
“Stupid question,” Bella said with a sigh. “I’d better get started on chow, or is Chappy laying on a barbecue tonight before the square dance? He never asks me, he just goes ahead with whatever he wants to do.”
“Chappy did say something about a barbecue. Why don’t you make a bowl of potato salad and some homemade rolls and a few pies to go with it?” She put an arm around Bella’s formidable girth. “That will save you some work, too, won’t it? Actually, I think Chappy’s kind of sweet on you.”
Bella flushed and glared at Nell. “He ain’t, neither! Now get out of here and let me get busy.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Nell grinned and curtsied before she darted out the back door.
Nell went down to the stables to check on the mounts for the morning ride. Chappy Staples was alone there, and after all the years, Nell was still a little in awe of him. He was older than most of the men, but he could outride the best of them. He’d never said a thing out of the way to Nell, but she couldn’t help her remoteness. It was the same with all the men, except Tyler.
“How is the mare this morning?” she asked the wiry man with the pale blue eyes, referring to a horse with a bad shoe.
“I had the farrier come over and take a look at her. He replaced the shoe, but she’s still restless this morning. I wouldn’t take her out if I were you.”
She sighed. “That will leave us one mount short,” she murmured. “Margie’s gone riding with Tyler and the boys.”
“If you can handle it alone, I’ll keep Marlowe here and let him help me work the colt, and one of the guests can have his horse,” Chappy said. “How about it?”
“That sounds great.” She sighed, thanking her lucky stars that the foulmouthed Marlowe was being kept clear of her guests. If he kept it up, he’d have to go, and that would leave them a man short. Nell didn’t like the idea of adding on new men. It had taken her long enough to get used to the ones she already had on the place.
“We’ll start at ten,” she told Chappy. “And we have to be back in time for lunch. I’m taking the ladies shopping about one-thirty.”
“No problem, ma’am.” He tipped his hat and returned to work.
Nell wandered back toward the house, deep in thought, almost running head-on into Tyler because she didn’t see him until he rounded the corner of the house.
She gasped, stepping back. “Sorry,” she said, faltering. “I didn’t see you.”
He glared down at her. “I was about to head off riding with Margie and the boys when I heard that I’m escorting Margie to the square dance tonight.”
“Are you?” she asked, all at sea.
He lifted an eyebrow. “That’s what Margie tells me. She said it was your idea,” he added in an exaggerated Texas drawl that could have skinned a cactus at close range.
“I guess you wouldn’t believe me if I told you I haven’t said a word to her about it,” she said resignedly.
“You throw her at me every time she comes out here, don’t you?” he asked with a mocking smile.
She lowered her eyes and turned away. “I did once or twice, sure. I thought you might enjoy her company,” she said in a subdued tone. “She’s like you. Sophisticated and classy and upper crust. But if you’d rather she went with someone else, I’ll see what I can do.”
He caught her arm, noticing the way she tensed and froze. “All right. You don’t have to make a federal case out of it. I just don’t like having myself volunteered for guest escort services. I like Margie, but I don’t need a matchmaker.”
“No, you wouldn’t,” she said more sadly than she realized. “Will you let go of my arm, please?”
“You can’t bear to be touched, can you?” he asked speculatively. “That was one of the first things I noticed about you. Why?”
Her heart went wild. He couldn’t know that it was his touch lancing through her like white-hot pleasure that made her tremble, not a dislike of being touched by him. And that surprised her. “My private life is none of your business,” she said firmly.
“No. You’ve made that very clear lately,” he replied. He let her go as if her arm burned his fingers. “Okay, honey. Have it your own way. As for Margie, I’ll work things out with her.”
He sounded vaguely exasperated, but Nell was far too nervous to wonder about his tone of voice. A quick getaway was on her mind. When she was alone with him, it took all her willpower not to throw herself into his arms, despite all her inhibitions.
“Okay,” she said, and shrugged, as if what he did were of no consequence to her. She went around him and into the house without looking back, unaware of his quiet gaze following her every step of the way.
Chapter Two (#ulink_e8b1b28e-199a-50a3-8393-cefc29fa08c1)
Nell avoided Tyler for the rest of the day, and she didn’t go to the square dance that night. She excused herself right after the barbecue and went up to her room. She was being a coward, she thought miserably, but at least she wouldn’t have to watch Margie flirt with Tyler.
But memories of Tyler wouldn’t be put out of her mind. Her thoughts drifted relentlessly back to the very beginning, to his first few days at the ranch. From the moment she’d met him at the airport, he’d been gentle and kind to her, putting her at ease, making himself right at home in her company.
And not only with Nell—he’d won over the men and Bella just as quickly. Nell had warmed to him as she never had to any man, with the exception of Darren McAnders. But even though Darren had left deep scars on her emotions, Nell knew instinctively that Tyler wouldn’t harm her. Before she realized what was happening to her, she was following him around like a puppy.
She grimaced, remembering. She’d alternated between sighing over him and trying to find ways to make him more comfortable. She didn’t realize how her eagerness to please him might seem to other people…or even to Tyler. She was in awe of him, the wound of McAnders’s long-ago rejection forgotten.
There was a square dance the second week he was in residence. Nell hadn’t put on a dress, but she did make sure her long hair was clean and neatly brushed, and she didn’t wear her slouch hat. As usual when there were strangers around, especially male ones, she drew into herself. Tyler made a convenient hiding place, and she got behind him and stayed there.
“Scared?” he’d teased gently, not minding her shy company. She was a little sunflower, a child to cosset. He hadn’t asked her age, but he assumed she hadn’t made it out of her teens yet. She didn’t threaten him in any way, and he could afford to be kind to her.
“I don’t mix well,” she confessed, smiling. “And I don’t really trust men very much. Some of the guests…well, they’re older men and their wives aren’t interested in them. I guess any young woman, even one like me, is fair game to them. I don’t want trouble, so mostly I stay away from dances.” Her dark eyes sought his. “You don’t mind if I stick back here with you?”
“Of course not.” He leaned against one of the posts that supported the loft and busied his fingers braiding three strands of rawhide he’d found. “I haven’t been to a barn dance in a long time. Is this an ongoing ritual here?”
“Every other Saturday night,” she confided. “We even invite the kids, so everybody gets to join in. The band—” she indicated the four-man band “—is a local group. We pay them forty dollars for the evening. They aren’t famous, but we think they’re pretty good.”
“They are,” he agreed with a smile. He glanced down at her, wondering what she’d think of the kind of party he was used to, where the women wore designer gowns and there were full orchestras or at least string quartets and jazz quintets to provide the music.
She twisted a strand of her hair in her fingers nervously, watching the married couples dance. There was a wistful expression in her eyes. He frowned as he watched her.
“Do you want to dance, Nell?” he asked gently.
She blushed. “No. I, well, I don’t dance,” she confessed, thrilling to the thought of being in his arms. But that might not be a good thing. He might see how attracted she was to him. She felt helpless when his hand accidentally brushed hers. She wasn’t sure she could handle a dose of him at close quarters without giving away her growing infatuation for him.
“I could teach you,” he volunteered, faintly amused at her reticence.
“No, I’d better not. I don’t want to…” She was going to say that she didn’t want to have to explain to the male guests why she wouldn’t dance with anyone but Tyler. It was too hard to make him understand that her flesh crawled at the thought of being handled by strange hands. But she coveted his touch, and that was new.
“Okay, tidbit. No need to worry the point.” He smiled. “But I think I’m about to be abducted, so what will you do while I’m away?” he asked, indicating a heavyset middle-aged woman who was heading toward him with a gleeful smile.
“I’ll just help out at the refreshment table,” she said, and excused herself. She watched him being led onto the dance floor and she sighed, wishing she was the one dancing with the long, tall Texan. But she was uncertain of herself. It was better if she didn’t rush things. Much better.
After that evening, he became her port in a storm. If there were business meetings or problems that she had to discuss with the men or male guests, she always made sure Tyler was included. She began to think of him as a buffer between herself and a world that frightened her. But even as she relied on him, she couldn’t help feeling an attraction that was making it impossible for her to go on as she had. She wanted him to notice her, to see her as a woman. It was the first time in years that she’d wanted to show off her femininity, to look the way a woman should.
But as she stared at herself in her mirror one morning, she wanted to cry. There wasn’t even good raw material to work with. She’d seen photos of movie stars who looked almost as bad as she did without their makeup, but she didn’t have the first idea how to make herself look beautiful. Her hair, while long and lustrous, needed shaping. Her eyebrows almost disappeared because they were so sun bleached. She had a good figure, but she was too shy to wear revealing clothes. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to go overboard, anyway, she told herself. It had taken years to get over her bad experience and the brutal honesty of the first man she’d set her cap at.
Finally, she’d braided her hair into two long pigtails and looped Indian beaded holders around them. That didn’t look too bad, considering that her paternal grandmother was a full-blooded Apache. She only wished her face looked as good as her hair did. Well, miracles did happen. Maybe someday one would happen for her. And Tyler did actually seem to like her.
She tried a hint of lipstick and put on her newest jeans—the only ones she had that really fit properly—with a pullover knit blouse. She smiled at her reflection. She really didn’t look too bad, she thought, except for her face. Maybe she could wear a gunnysack over it….
Then Bella called her to lunch before she had time to worry anymore.
She bounced into the dining room with more energy than she’d had for weeks. She felt reborn, full of new, shy confidence. She was blooming.
The rain had come to the desert, making the guests uncomfortable and ranching dangerous. The men were working overtime keeping cattle and horses out of the dry washes that could kill so suddenly and efficiently when they filled with unexpected rainwater. The past three days had brought a deluge, and two of the guests were giving up and going home. The other eight were going to tough it out. Nell had smiled at their stubbornness and was determined to make life as pleasant as possible for them.
The guests were having their meal half an hour later than Nell, Tyler and Bella in the huge oak-decorated dining room with its heavy chairs and table and comfortable lounge furniture.
Tyler hadn’t shown up, but Bella was bustling around putting platters of food on the table when she got a glimpse of the mistress of the house and almost dropped the tray she was carrying.
“That you, Nell?” she asked hesitantly, her gray head cocked sideways.
“Who are you expecting?” Nell asked, laughing. “Well, I won’t win any beauty contests, but don’t I look better?”
“Too much better,” Bella said gently. “Oh, honey, don’t do it. Don’t set yourself up for such a hard fall.”
Nell stopped breathing. “What?” she asked.
“You take him things for the cabin,” Bella said. “You sew buttons on his shirts. You make sure he’s warm and dry when it rains. You’re forever making him special things in the kitchen. And now this transformation. Honey, he’s a sophisticated man who was, until just recently, very rich and well traveled.” She looked worried. “I don’t want to smash any dreams, but he’s used to a different kind of woman. He’s being kind to you, Nell. But that’s all it is. Don’t mistake kindness for true love. Not again.”
Nell’s face went bloodred. She hadn’t realized that she was doing those things. She’d liked him and she wanted him to be happy. But it didn’t look like that—of course it didn’t. And her new appearance was going to put him in a very embarrassing situation.
“I like him,” Nell faltered. “But I’m not…not chasing him.” She turned and ran upstairs. “I’ll change.”
“Nell!”
She ignored Bella’s remorseful wail and kept going. But she wouldn’t come back down for dinner, despite the pleading from the other side of the door. She felt raw and hurt, even though Bella had just meant to be kind. Nell was going to have to watch her step. She couldn’t afford to let Tyler think she was chasing him. God forbid that she should invite heartache again.
Downstairs, Tyler and Bella had been sharing a quiet meal. He studied the old woman curiously.
“Something bothering you?” he asked politely.
“Nell.” She sighed. “She won’t come down. She fixed her hair and changed clothes, and I…” She cleared her throat. “I said something.”
“Nell could use a little self-confidence,” Tyler said quietly. “That wasn’t kind of you to knock her down when she was just getting started.”
“I don’t want her to get hurt again,” Bella moaned. “You just mean to be kind, I know that. But that child has never had any affection, except from me. She doesn’t know what it is to be loved and wanted. Her father lived for Ted. Nell was always an afterthought. And the only other time she was interested in a man, she got hurt bad.” She sighed again. “So maybe I’m overprotective. But I just didn’t want to see her throw herself at you because you pay her a little attention.”
“I never thought she was,” Tyler said, smiling. “You’re wrong. Nell’s just being friendly. She’s a cute little kid with pretty brown eyes and a nice way about her. I like her and she likes me. But that’s all it is. You don’t have to worry.”
Bella eyed him, wondering if he could be that blind. Maybe he could. “Nell is twenty-four,” she said.
His black eyebrows arched. “I beg your pardon?”
“Well, how old did you think she was?” the woman asked.
“Nineteen. Eighteen, maybe.” He frowned. “Are you serious?”
“Never more so,” Bella told him. “So please don’t make the mistake of putting her in patent leather shoes and ruffled pinafores. She’s a grown woman who’s lived alone and been slighted all her life. She’s just ripe to have her heart torn out by the roots. Please don’t be the one to do that to her.”
Tyler hardly heard her. He’d thought of Nell as a cute kid, but maybe he’d gotten everything wrong. Surely she didn’t see him as a potential romantic interest? That was just too farfetched. Why, she wasn’t even his type. He preferred a much more sophisticated, worldly woman.
He picked at his food. “I didn’t realize,” he began, “that she might be thinking of me in those terms. I’ll make sure I don’t do anything to encourage her.” He smiled at Bella. “I sure as hell don’t want a lovesick tomboy grabbing me by the boots every time I walk by. I don’t like being chased, even by attractive women. And Nell is a sweet child, but even a blind man couldn’t accuse her of being beautiful.”
“Have some more beef,” Bella said after a minute, grateful that Nell was still up in her room and not likely to hear what he’d said.
Of course, as fate would have it, Nell had started back down the hall and was standing just outside the door. She’d heard every word, and her face was a pasty white. She just barely made it back to her room before the tears that she’d pent-up escaped.
Maybe it had been for the best that she’d found out early what Tyler really thought of her. She’d gone a little crazy because of the attention he’d paid her, but now that she knew what he really felt about her, she’d keep those stupid impulses under better control. Like Bella said, she’d mistaken kindness for interest. And she should have known better. For God’s sake, hadn’t she learned her lesson already? She had nothing that would attract a man.
So she’d dried her eyes and put back on her comfortable clothes, and later she’d gone down to supper as if nothing at all had happened. Neither Bella nor Tyler realized what she’d overheard, and she hadn’t told them.
But after learning how Tyler felt, Nell’s attitude toward him changed. She was polite and helpful, but the light that had been in her eyes when she looked at him had gone out. She never looked directly at him and she never sought him out. The little attentions vanished, as did her shy adoration. She treated him like any other ranch hand, and what she really felt, only she knew. She never talked about him again, even to Bella.
But tonight, in the silence of her room, she still ached for what might have been. It seemed very likely that she wasn’t cut out for a close relationship with a man, much less with Tyler Jacobs. But that didn’t stop her from being hurt by what had happened. It had been the first time in years that she’d made an effort to look like a woman. It would be the last, too, she vowed. She rolled over and closed her eyes. Minutes later, she was asleep.
* * *
A couple of weeks later, the sun was out, thank God, because the recent rains had been catastrophic. Bookings had been canceled and the ranch’s finances had suffered. But now they had all eighteen rooms filled, most of them double occupancy. The ranch catered to families with children, and family fun was emphasized, with hayrides and trail rides and barbecues and square dancing. They did a lot of repeat business. Mr. Howes and his wife had been regulars for ten years, and although Mr. Howes spent a great deal of his time falling off his horse, it never seemed to deter him from trying to keep his girth in the saddle. And despite the fact that Mrs. Sims had been infuriating her ulcer with Crowbait’s homemade firehouse chili for the past five years, she kept trying to eat it. She was a widow who taught school back East during the year and vacationed for a week at the ranch every summer.
Most of the regulars were like family now, and even the husbands didn’t bother Nell because she knew them. But there was always the exception, like the very greasy-looking Mr. Cova who had a plain, loving wife whose affection he seemed determined to abuse. He was always watching Nell, and she looked forward to the day when they left.
“You could have Tyler speak to Mr. Cova, if things get too rough,” Bella mentioned as she was setting the buffet table for lunch.
“No, thanks,” Nell said quietly. “I can take care of myself.”
She turned, almost colliding with Tyler’s tall form as he appeared quietly in the doorway. She mumbled an apology and dashed past him without a word. He watched her irritably for a minute before he swung himself into a straddling position over one of the kitchen chairs and tossed his hat onto the table. His lean, dark hands lit a cigarette while he nursed a warm regret for the friendliness he’d once shared with Nell. He felt as if he’d hurt her somehow. Her quiet sensitivity disturbed him. She touched a chord in him that no other woman had ever reached.
“You’re brooding again,” Bella murmured dryly.
He smiled faintly. “It’s just that Nell’s changed,” he said quietly, lifting the cigarette to his chiseled lips. “I thought we were going to be the best of friends. But now, when I come into a room, she can’t leave quick enough. She sends me messages through Chappy. If I need to see the books, she has somebody bring them to me.” He shrugged. “I feel like a damned leper.”
“She’s just nervous around men,” Bella soothed. “She always has been—ask Chappy.”
Tyler’s green eyes shifted and met hers. “It wasn’t like this at first. I couldn’t turn around without bumping into her. Do you know why things changed?”
Bella shrugged. “If I did,” she said, choosing her words carefully, “she wouldn’t thank me for saying anything. Although she sure is quiet these days.”
“Amen. Well, maybe it’s just as well,” Tyler murmured absently. He took a draw from his cigarette. “What’s for lunch?”
“Open-faced roast beef sandwiches, homemade French fries, salad, homemade banana pudding and iced tea and coffee.”
“Sounds delicious. By the way, I’ve added two new men on the payroll to help do some work on the equipment and renovate the stable and the barn. That’s going to have to be done before we finish haying, as I’m sure you know.”
Bella whistled through her teeth. “Nell isn’t going to like that. She hates having to deal with new men.”
He scowled at her. “What happened to her?”
“I can’t tell you that. She’ll have to.”
“I’ve asked, but all I got was the runaround.”
“She’s a secretive person. Nell doesn’t talk about herself, and I won’t.” She smiled to soften the words. “Trusting someone doesn’t come easy to that child.”
“Trust is difficult for most of us.” He tilted his hat over his eyes. “See you.”
* * *
The barn, like every other building on the place, leaked in heavy rain, but when it was sunny like today, it was cozy and plenty warm enough. Nell was kneeling beside a small Hereford calf in a rickety stall filled with green-gold hay, stroking its head.
Tyler stood in the hay-filled aisle watching her for a long moment, his eyes narrowed in thought. She looked like Orphan Annie, and maybe she felt that way. He knew what it was like to live without love, to be alone and alienated. He understood her, but she wouldn’t let him close enough to tell her so. He’d made a mistake with Nell. He didn’t even know what he’d done to make her back off and treat him with such cool indifference. He missed the way things had been at their first meeting. Her shy adoration had touched him, warmed him. Because of Nell, he felt a kind of emptiness that he didn’t even understand.
He moved closer, watching the way she reacted to his approach, the way her dark eyes fell, her quick movements as she got to her feet and moved out into the aisle. As if, he thought irritably, she couldn’t bear being in an enclosed space with him.
“I thought I’d better tell you that I’ve hired two men, temporarily, to help with some repairs,” he said. “Don’t panic,” he added when he saw the flash of fear in her eyes. “They’re not ax murderers, and they won’t try to rape you.”
She blushed furiously and tears burned her eyes. She didn’t say a word. She turned and stormed out of the barn, hurting in ways she couldn’t have told him about, old memories blazing up like bonfires in the back of her mind.
“Damn it—!” he burst out angrily. He was one step behind her. Even as she reached the barn door, he caught her arm firmly to stop her. The reaction he got shocked him.
She cried out, twisting sharply away from him, her eyes wide and dark and fearful.
He realized belatedly that what had frightened her was the anger in his face, the physical expression of it in his firm hold on her. “I don’t hit women,” he said quietly, moving back a step. “And I didn’t mean to upset you. I shouldn’t have made that crack about the new men. Nell…”
She swallowed, stuffing her hands into her jeans while she fought for composure. She hated letting him see the fear his violence had incited. She glanced away from him and her thick black lashes blocked his view of the emotion in her dark eyes.
He moved closer, looming over her. His lean hands slid into the thick coolness of her hair at her ears and tilted her face up to his.
“Stop running,” he said curtly. “You’ve done it for weeks, and I can’t take much more. I can’t get near you.”
“I don’t want you near me,” she said, choking on the words. “Let go.”
Her words stung his pride, but he didn’t let her see. “Tell me why, then,” he persisted. His gaze was level, unblinking. “Come on.”
“I heard what you said to Bella that night,” she said, averting her eyes. “You thought I was just a kid, and when she told you how old I really was, you…you said you didn’t want a tomboy hanging from your boots,” she whispered huskily.
He saw the tears before he felt them sliding onto the backs of his hands. “So that was it.” He grimaced. He hadn’t realized that Nell might have heard him. His words must have cut her to the quick. “Nell, I never meant for you to hear me,” he said gently.
“It was a good thing,” she said, lifting her chin proudly as she fought down embarrassment. “I didn’t realize how…how silly I was behaving. I won’t embarrass you anymore, I promise. I liked you, that was all. I wanted you to be happy here.” She laughed huskily. “I know I’m not the kind of girl who would appeal to a man like you, and I wasn’t throwing myself at you.” Her eyes closed on a wave of pain. “Now, please, will you let me go?”
“Oh, Nell,” he groaned. He pulled her close, wrapping her up in his arms, his dark head bent to her honey-brown one under the slouch hat. He rocked her, feeling the pain in her as if it hurt him, too. His eyes closed as he swung her in his arms, the close contact easing the tears, easing the pain. She wept silently at the sweetness of it, even while she knew that she couldn’t expect any more than this. A few seconds of pity mingled with guilt. Cold comfort for a lonely life.
She let herself rest against him for one exquisite moment, loving the wiry strength of his tall body, the leather and tobacco smells that clung to his soft cotton shirt, the sound of his heartbeat under her ear. This would be something to dream about when he left. But now, she had to be strong.
She pulled away from him and he let her go. She knew that there was no hope for her in his life. Margie was more like him—she was sophisticated and good-looking and mature. They’d hit it off like a house on fire, and Nell had to keep that in mind and not let her heart get addicted to Tyler. Because Margie wanted him, Nell was sure of it. And Margie always got what she wanted.
She drew in a shaky breath. “Thanks for the comfort,” she said. She even forced a smile. “You don’t have to worry about me. I won’t make things hard for you.” She looked up, her brown eyes very soft and dark, shimmering with a hurt that she was trying so hard to keep from him.
Tyler felt something stir in him that knocked him in the knees. She had the most beautiful, sensual eyes he’d ever seen. They made him hungry, but for things that had no physical expression. She made him feel as if he’d been out in the cold all his life, and there was a warm fire waiting for him.
Nell felt that hunger in him, but she was afraid of it. His eyes had become a glittering green, and they were so intent that she flushed and dropped her gaze to his chest. He made her weak all over. If he looked at her like that very often, she’d have to go off into the desert forever. She felt as if he were taking possession of her without a physical move.
She stepped back, nervous, unsure of herself. “I’d better go inside.”
“About those new men—they’re only temporary. Just until we get through roundup.” His voice sounded oddly strained. He lit a cigarette, surprised to find that his fingers were unsteady. “They’ll be here in a few weeks.”
She managed a shy smile. “Well, I’ll try not to treat them like ax murderers,” she promised nervously. “I’m sorry about the square dance. About leaving you to deal with Margie.” She lifted her shoulders jerkily.
“I don’t mind. But don’t make a habit of it, okay?” he asked, smiling to soften the words. He reached out and tugged a lock of her long, unruly hair. “I’m feeling a little raw right now, Nell. I’ve lost my home, my job…everything that used to matter. I’m still trying to find my feet. There’s no place in my life for a woman just yet.”
“I’m sorry about what you lost, Tyler,” she said with genuine sincerity, gazing up at his hard, dark face. “But you’ll get it all back one day. You’re that kind of person. I can’t see you giving up and settling for weekly wages.”
He smiled slowly, surprised at her perception. “Can’t you? You’re no quitter yourself, little Nell.”
She blushed. “I’m not little.”
He moved a step closer with a new kind of slowness, a sensual kind of movement that made Nell’s heart stop and then skip wildly. She could barely breathe, the manly cologne he wore drifting into her nostrils, seducing her. “You’re not very big, either,” he mused. He touched the very visible pulse in her soft neck, tracing it with a long, teasing finger that made it jump. “Nervous, honey?” he breathed.
She could hardly find enough breath to answer him. “I…I have to go inside.”
His head bent so that his green eyes were looking straight into her dark ones while that maddening finger traced a hot path down her throat and up to her jaw. “Do you?” he asked in a husky whisper, and his breath touched her parted lips like a kiss.
“Tyler…” Odd, how different her voice sounded. Strained. Almost frantic.
His eyes fell to her mouth, and he wanted it suddenly and fiercely. His chest rose and fell quickly, his eyes glittered down at her. He almost bent that scant inch that would have brought her soft, full mouth under his. But she was trembling, and he couldn’t be sure that it wasn’t from fear. It was too soon. Much too soon.
He forced himself to draw back, but his hand gripped her shoulder tightly before he let her go. “See you later,” he said with a slow smile.
She cleared her throat. For one wild second, she’d thought he meant to kiss her, but that was absurd. “Sure,” she said huskily. “See you.”
She turned and went into the house on wobbly legs. She was going to have to get her imagination under control. Tyler was only teasing, just as he had in the beginning. At least he still liked her. If she could control her foolish heart, they might yet become friends. She could hardly hope for anything more, with Margie around.
Chapter Three (#ulink_e8ddbb42-7e27-52a7-9585-12628f907e9a)
A couple of weekends later, Margie and the boys were back at the ranch. Curt and Jess were up at the crack of dawn Sunday, and Nell noticed with faint humor that they followed Tyler wherever he went. That gave Margie a good excuse to tag along, too, but the woman seemed preoccupied. She’d tried to get a conversation going with Nell earlier, although Nell hadn’t been forthcoming. It was hard going, listening to Margie try to order her life for her. Margie apparently hadn’t noticed that her sister-in-law was a capable adult. She spent most of her time at the ranch trying to change Nell into the kind of person she wanted her to be. Or so it seemed to Nell.
“I do wish you’d let me fix your face and help you buy some new clothes,” Margie grumbled at the breakfast table. She glared at Nell’s usual attire. “And you might as well wear a gunnysack as that old outfit. You’d get just as much notice from the men, anyway.”
“I don’t want the men to notice me,” Nell replied tersely.
“Well, you should,” she said stubbornly. “That incident was a long time ago, Nell,” she added with a fixed stare, “and not really as traumatic as you’ve made it out to be. And don’t argue,” she added when Nell bristled. “You were just a child, at a very impressionable age, and you’d had a crush on Darren. I’m not saying that you invited it, because we both know you didn’t. But it’s time you faced what a relationship really is between a man and a woman. You can’t be a little girl forever.”
“I’m not a little girl,” Nell said through her teeth. She knew her cheeks were scarlet. “And I know what relationships are. I don’t happen to want one.”
“You should. You’re going to wind up an old maid, and it’s a pitiful waste.” Margie folded her arms over the low bodice of her white peasant dress with its graceful flounces and ruffles. “Look, honey,” she began, her voice softening, “I know it was mostly my fault. I’m sorry. But you can’t let it ruin your whole life. You’ve never talked to me or to Bella. I wish you had, because we could have helped you.”
“I don’t need help,” Nell said icily.
“Yes, you do,” Margie persisted. “You’ve got to stop hiding from life—”
“There you are,” Tyler said, interrupting Margie’s tirade. “Your offspring have cornered a bull snake out in the yard. Curt says you won’t mind if he keeps it for a pet.”
Margie looked up, horrified.
Tyler chuckled at the expression on her face. “Okay. I’ll make him turn it loose.” He glanced at Nell, noticing the way she averted her eyes and toyed nervously with her coffee cup. “Some of the guests are going to services. I thought I’d drive them. I’m partial to a good sermon.”
“Okay. Thanks,” Nell said, ignoring Margie’s obvious surprise.
“Did you think I was the walking image of sin?” Tyler asked the prettier woman. “Sorry to put a stick in your spokes, but I’m still just a country boy from Texas, despite the life-style I used to boast.”
“My, my.” Margie shook her head amusedly. “The mind boggles.” She darted a glance at Nell, sitting like a rock. “You ought to take Nell along. She and her hair shirt would probably enjoy it.”
“I don’t wear a hair shirt, and I can drive myself to church later.” Nell got up and left the room, her stiff back saying more than words.
She did go to church, to the late morning service, in a plain gray dress that did nothing for her, with no makeup on and her honey-brown hair in a neat bun. She looked as she lived—plainly. Bella had driven her to town and was going to pick her up when the service was over. It would have been the last straw to go earlier with Tyler’s group, especially after Margie’s infuriating invitation at Tyler’s expense.
So the last person she expected to find waiting for her was Tyler, in a neat gray suit, lounging against the ranch station wagon at the front of the church when services were over.
“Where’s Bella?” Nell asked bluntly.
Tyler raised a dark eyebrow. “Now, now,” he chided gently. “It’s Sunday. And I’d hate to let you walk back to the ranch.”
“Bella was supposed to pick me up,” she said, refusing to move.
“No sense in letting her come all this way when I had to come back to town anyway, was there?” he asked reasonably.
She eyed him warily. “Why did you have to make two trips to town on Sunday?”
“To pick you up, of course. Get in.”
It wasn’t as if she had a choice. He escorted her to the passenger side and put her in like so much laundry, closing the door gently behind her.
“You’re killing my ego,” he remarked as he pulled out onto the road.
Her nervous hands twisted her soft gray leather purse. “You don’t have an ego,” she replied, glancing out at the expanse of open country and jagged mountains.
“Thank you,” he replied, smiling faintly. “That’s the first nice thing you’ve said to me in weeks.”
She let out a quiet breath and stared at the purse in her hands. “I don’t mean to be like this,” she confessed. “It’s just—” her shoulders lifted and fell “—I don’t want you to think that I’m running after you.” She grimaced. “After all, I guess I was pretty obnoxious those first days you were here.”
He pulled the station wagon onto a pasture trail that led beyond a locked gate, and cut off the engine. His green eyes lanced over her while he lit a cigarette with slow, steady hands.
“Okay, let’s put our cards on the table,” he said quietly. “I’m flat busted. I work for your uncle because what I have left in the bank wouldn’t support me for a week, and I can’t save a lot. I’ve got debts that I’m trying to pay off. That makes me a bad prospect for a woman. I’m not looking for involvement….”
She groaned, torn by embarrassment, and fumbled her way out of the car, scarlet with humiliated pride.
He was one step behind, and before she could get away he was in front of her, the threat of his tall, fit body holding her back against the station wagon.
“Please, you don’t have to explain anything to me,” she said brokenly. “I’m sorry, I never meant to—”
“Nell.”
The sound of her name in that deep, slow drawl brought her hurt eyes up to his. Through a mist of gathering tears she saw his face harden, then his eyes begin to glitter again, as they had once before when he’d come close to her.
“You’re all too vulnerable,” he said, and there was something solemn and very adult in his look. “I’m trying to tell you that I never thought you were chasing me. You aren’t the type.”
She could have laughed at that statement. He didn’t know that years ago she’d run shamelessly after Darren McAnders and almost begged for his love. But she didn’t speak. Her eyes fell to the quick rise and fall of his broad chest under the well-fitting suit, and she wondered why he seemed so breathless. Her own breathing was much too quick, because he was close enough that she could feel his warmth, smell the expensive cologne that clung to him.
“I’m nervous around men,” she said without looking up. “You were the first one who ever paid me any real attention. I guess I was so flattered that I went overboard, trying to make you happy here.” She smiled faintly, glancing up and then down again. “But I never really thought it was anything except friendship on your part, you know. I’m not at all like Margie.”
“What do you mean by that crack?” he asked sharply.
She shivered at his tone. “She’s like the people in your world, that’s all. She’s poised and sophisticated and beautiful…”
“There are many different kinds of beauty, Nell,” he said, his voice softer than she’d ever heard it. With surprised pleasure she felt the touch of his lean fingers on her chin as he lifted her face up to his eyes. “It goes a lot deeper than makeup.”
Her lips parted and she found that she couldn’t quite drag her eyes away from his. He was watching her in a way that made her knees weak.
“We’d better go…hadn’t we?” she asked in a husky whisper.
The timbre of her soft voice sent ripples down his spine. He searched her dark eyes slowly, finding secrets there, unvoiced longings. He could almost feel the loneliness in her, the hidden need.
And all at once, he felt a need spark within him to erase that pain from her soft eyes.
He dropped his cigarette absently to the ground and put it out with a sharp movement of his boot. His lean hands slid against her high cheekbones and past her ears.
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