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Copycat
Alex Lake
The gripping new psychological thriller from the bestselling author of After Anna and Killing Kate.Imitation is the most terrifying form of flattery…Which Sarah Havenant is you?When an old friend gets in touch, Sarah Havenant discovers that there are two Facebook profiles in her name. One is hers. The other, she has never seen.But everything in it is accurate. Photos of her friends, her husband, her kids. Photos from the day before. Photos of her new kitchen. Photos taken inside her house.And this is just the beginning. Because whoever has set up the second profile has been waiting for Sarah to find it. And now that she has, her life will no longer be her own…
COPYCAT
Alex Lake
Copyright (#ua6e7cdfc-c565-5e65-b5ef-dd29e1381635)
Published by HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd
1 London Bridge Street
London SE1 9GF
www.harpercollins.co.uk (http://www.harpercollins.co.uk)
First published in Great Britain by HarperCollinsPublishers 2017
Copyright В© Alex Lake 2017
Cover design Micaela Alcaino В© HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd 2017
Cover photograph В© Stephen Carroll/Trevillion Images (http://www.trevillion.com/)
Alex Lake asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.
A catalogue copy of this book is available from the British Library.
This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental.
All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins.
Source ISBN: 9780008199746
Ebook Edition В© September 2017 ISBN: 9780008239091
Version: 2018-09-24
Dedication (#ua6e7cdfc-c565-5e65-b5ef-dd29e1381635)
To Mum and Dad, who taught me the magic words: �Of course you can’.
Table of Contents
Cover (#u4d93a35a-d8ed-598f-83ee-69b41fb79c75)
Title Page (#u69e74210-15ed-5992-8be9-637f066300e6)
Copyright (#u1e2d4f03-9930-56ed-a749-d44ce6de387f)
Dedication (#uc4dbb992-e7e0-57d7-8187-1cbdfd90b649)
Part One (#udb8941ae-7251-574b-abd4-64de18bfe326)
Ten Years Earlier (#ub5aaa45f-99fb-53e6-8da9-1055acf31edb)
Chapter 1 (#u515f987b-d23f-5e81-8390-3c8d3bf3064f)
Chapter 2 (#uebbfb286-dfab-5006-9234-0250f2d39616)
Chapter 3 (#u2a250ef6-77e1-5729-a790-0bc7685a74f4)
Chapter 4 (#u097b9162-a490-5be9-bd64-74c7d61275ec)
Chapter 5 (#u2af7f9b0-05d6-55df-84b0-91f9beab5c2b)
Chapter 6 (#ufe62f51f-f921-5380-99ab-912d9faf6cae)
Chapter 7 (#u906f4a73-653f-5747-be66-65f3e8b9d278)
Chapter 8 (#ub850f859-8139-5f5c-b8cb-92b78e128fd4)
Chapter 9 (#ue8eed30d-096a-5735-a9c5-2a673e40073a)
Chapter 10 (#u3f59776b-458f-5b81-8096-65df130573d4)
Chapter 11 (#ud2748dd3-02c0-5446-8850-03e4918f84ba)
Chapter 12 (#u85bf7cef-5bad-5243-8e66-cca1f33cc533)
Chapter 13 (#u321769f0-f9d4-540e-baab-b84757d77b51)
Chapter 14 (#u931adf4d-4502-5b77-802b-0f45d9519cd0)
Chapter 15 (#u1ccac135-4eb4-5117-a149-757b2ba700c7)
Chapter 16 (#u7f4c6c63-e65a-5a41-9ada-0179136bdd69)
Chapter 17 (#u99ae9a61-dd6e-568f-9815-32bb1d4fd1f7)
Chapter 18 (#u2f57a406-9a67-526e-acbb-ce6aee35c38a)
Chapter 19 (#u2a36acc2-c85f-5a42-87ad-eef997bfa62e)
Chapter 20 (#u640357d8-7d5a-5bd5-930e-812368199735)
Chapter 21 (#uc3e57cb5-cc53-5270-9f62-8b9b87f7ab26)
Chapter 22 (#u6f26fa3f-94ec-5025-b6fb-eb70ccab329d)
Chapter 23 (#uf3316261-3025-59e1-bab0-5a4388d05d1b)
Chapter 24 (#ufd6b0470-689f-5120-941e-09efe0b7c7dd)
Chapter 25 (#u31bead86-a152-5a27-8500-fd617b158e81)
Chapter 26 (#u21f2a716-8305-5b8c-b84d-4275c57e83f5)
Chapter 27 (#uffdf7ae0-8aed-5575-b244-2f36b076d0a1)
Chapter 28 (#ub6123204-7cd1-560c-93e2-4d3046081bb4)
Chapter 29 (#u17ec57ad-ff19-5759-a767-be2c91c6f36a)
Chapter 30 (#u2bce3142-bf79-53d4-896d-82ac0ef649c4)
Chapter 31 (#ufbc60c8d-bb0e-5062-94e2-205232c8839b)
Chapter 32 (#u8e7e4182-cec8-5b55-8a07-f20f370162fb)
Chapter 33 (#u50efe59f-e6ff-5eef-8185-5f3df3a5bfbe)
Chapter 34 (#uea2d392e-d753-5cfe-9162-1c096ecdc28f)
Chapter 35 (#ue6284b0e-0905-5d6c-8caa-8014d00d7ee5)
Chapter 36 (#uee2b7a31-2a22-5296-bc75-cf0e2479f1ff)
Chapter 37 (#u467a8958-87f1-52f8-af20-a802fc8e7031)
Chapter 38 (#ufe172294-5f0f-51b2-ae39-c0baa7ed0d59)
Chapter 39 (#u6773e1cb-600b-5b91-8a19-dec9434aaff3)
Chapter 40 (#udab0eeeb-be08-5e6f-86f6-42c92f70b768)
Part Two (#u4035b934-2623-5221-8487-3178df0620b6)
Ten Years Earlier (#ua9381b6a-8d78-5268-b40b-13c07cacd7f9)
Chapter 1 (#udc8cdeff-b6f9-5ccd-866e-2e8a05bd8077)
Chapter 2 (#u6bd531e0-c0be-5670-ac66-0e4cc2878b1a)
Chapter 3 (#u32390665-ade5-5edc-9289-10efb0c093d6)
Chapter 4 (#u73db8d33-2d20-5c25-adfe-6bfb8b860449)
Chapter 5 (#u6b54b078-531b-5b89-8be2-07694c72fece)
Chapter 6 (#u3b70858c-ad89-53eb-aec4-8843d9756c92)
Chapter 7 (#u2be53a9c-08c6-501b-a3f0-6c2754a7c586)
Chapter 8 (#u8bda090c-4992-5cd3-9e16-fc0d2f006741)
Chapter 9 (#uaecf8c96-05d6-5839-82cb-bef8cdbfce39)
Chapter 10 (#u6e81ab16-7ca2-5829-941d-5fa7b0d68042)
Chapter 11 (#u63f1c788-3fbe-5b69-b34f-e0b4fa0c21d8)
Chapter 12 (#u40f9030b-9831-59c2-a695-1117e0317cb4)
Chapter 13 (#ued10c718-9b64-5232-9a90-196cb08c5d35)
Chapter 14 (#u68106833-747a-5aea-8b60-def60ae617d0)
Chapter 15 (#ufc225dc3-1edd-5c44-811e-34177467395b)
Chapter 16 (#u45d09eb0-57ad-5a08-9a69-e3805babf48b)
Chapter 17 (#u655af891-77e9-5b40-86bf-39e21af5c044)
Chapter 18 (#ua8e7fc54-099e-5360-9a6b-335d290204a7)
Chapter 19 (#u73a49234-1deb-5dfb-b0a8-5ad8cccdd16b)
Chapter 20 (#u7b720e74-8cd6-554c-9133-4a80b832d56e)
Chapter 21 (#u51111473-07e5-5139-9ca2-4ae1a7aaa716)
Chapter 22 (#u59c9a15e-b480-50e8-818c-ec26b2a0d803)
Chapter 23 (#ufe1aa40a-b599-573b-b345-0732bd8ff0f1)
Chapter 24 (#u002be069-9b38-51a4-903b-b40b6c9dbeb1)
Chapter 25 (#uad0301d4-f9c2-5a7e-8722-a567dadfe4bd)
Chapter 26 (#u71bb1e3e-a4e4-537d-9d64-fb997a6ac164)
Part Three (#u2fd47c07-9035-5ba3-94f7-33e52679a016)
Ten Years Earlier (#u494b5bf4-a6c8-5904-85cf-87a4f5890eb0)
Chapter 1 (#u01552363-32e2-589c-a983-80ae7ee62346)
Chapter 2 (#ubcf75872-aec6-52bc-b235-109bc068d155)
Chapter 3 (#uedefc16b-812a-5c25-bbd4-623a9c343dd9)
Chapter 4 (#u6ad78d68-6a14-5ed8-94eb-425424d85000)
Chapter 5 (#u9c98cc83-0b49-5b80-a4d8-e4d19d888110)
Chapter 6 (#uaa68017b-d946-5d75-a7ae-a616fdc5015f)
Chapter 7 (#u8a333062-3867-5cf6-852e-3eb334e9b7f0)
Chapter 8 (#u5f619f10-5283-5c0c-97d4-a7a8cd747f71)
Chapter 9 (#ud638fb76-2233-5bcd-abeb-968544cb37c5)
Chapter 10 (#u36732d76-4bda-5c26-83af-4cff3bc58041)
Chapter 11 (#ub1140245-e8da-5e2d-ae09-ae8e7942d0ad)
Chapter 12 (#u41f16f51-b646-5db3-90d4-7803f87bbe7a)
Chapter 13 (#ue0e84832-bfb2-5626-9b5e-db8f0dbddd83)
Chapter 14 (#ua2fbdf63-0d11-5569-9b4f-ebae51904610)
Chapter 15 (#u57f7e6bf-fee7-58ba-817c-34c6d4963ce1)
Chapter 16 (#u44d921bb-7e18-518d-a039-2a52ce811fb6)
Chapter 17 (#u2e3b5b16-5ff2-526b-9c44-c967f81b5d15)
Chapter 18 (#u5c375113-479c-508c-a0f3-442be77fcecd)
Chapter 19 (#ub2142782-8bac-5f97-b0c2-1c02f69a997d)
Chapter 20 (#u55ebcf0f-c78f-5420-aad8-a6aa5e5cede8)
Chapter 21 (#u00696133-1b71-551d-83dd-f746fe60dde8)
Chapter 22 (#ubcf8af61-0ad2-5f87-8136-e8d35a804ecc)
Chapter 23 (#u831d19a2-0cd1-51c6-916d-b5cbdee16993)
Chapter 24 (#u08d263c4-6e3f-524d-96cf-8cdfe17dade0)
Chapter 25 (#ub6aaf64b-3753-5b4b-b8fa-451ce8ff233e)
Chapter 26 (#u510b1bd7-8f51-5ea9-8ddb-657acbf72bae)
Chapter 27 (#uc8630e08-f6a4-5d16-9a40-79ea51f69585)
Chapter 28 (#ufe5c33d7-0e86-57c3-aba6-9de5fb5d3a46)
Chapter 29 (#uc686422b-0ef4-5f94-9c9e-f355c960759d)
Chapter 30 (#uebeb9219-5fb0-5281-a3a2-ca60776b6ab9)
Chapter 31 (#uad309f36-30ec-5c4f-98a2-6b64a46ec5b1)
Chapter 32 (#uade709ce-fb5e-583d-bad2-415a46e1d655)
A Year Later (#u55838a02-b298-50d8-b2f6-52bab845f3f0)
Acknowledgements (#u751bc76a-e637-5b7b-80d0-16a00c00e855)
About the Author (#uc4f52068-c837-5fbb-8a31-7b0e259837f6)
Also by Alex Lake (#ub46b54c0-35c9-5258-92e5-838afbdf939f)
About the Publisher (#u8bd4a0fb-1114-5f74-971f-11672388c574)
PART ONE (#ua6e7cdfc-c565-5e65-b5ef-dd29e1381635)
Ten Years Earlier (#ua6e7cdfc-c565-5e65-b5ef-dd29e1381635)
The first time someone said that Karen was gone for good was during the week after she disappeared. People – mothers – didn’t just leave their kids without warning for days on end, unless there was something wrong. Very wrong. Depressed, maybe, after the birth of her second child. Or unhappy in her relationship. Her boyfriend was not a local, and he was a few years older than her. Who knew what went on behind the closed doors of their house?
Not Sarah Havenant, or any of her friends, although they were the last to see her. It was the day Sarah moved back to Barrow, Maine, after four years of college and then four more of medical school, ready to start her residency at the local hospital, and she and her friends had gotten together in a bar. Reconnect. Catch up on old times. Talk about what was to come.
Sarah, Jean, Franny, Luke. The old gang, at least the ones who were still around.
And Karen. Karen, mom of two boys, a three-year-old and a one-year-old. Karen, who was now missing.
Sarah didn’t remember Karen leaving the bar. It was sometime before 2 a.m., which was the time she had staggered into a cab with Franny and Luke. Alec – a guy they had bumped into – had offered to drive but, drunk as she was, Sarah had been sensible enough to turn his kind offer down.
Franny and Luke didn’t remember seeing her leave either, and neither did Jean, who had left early; she worked on an organic farm in the summers and had to get ready for the farmers’ market the following day.
But sometime in between Jean’s early departure and 2 a.m., Karen had left too.
Although, as it turned out, vanished was a better word.
The next day, Sarah had run into Karen’s boyfriend, and father of her two sons. She didn’t know him – they’d met briefly once or twice when she was back in town – and he’d asked if she knew where Karen was.
Sarah shook her head. Is Karen OK? she said.
She didn’t come home last night, he replied. I woke up around four with this guy – he was with his sons and he kissed the one-year-old on the top of the head – and she wasn’t there. I called her cell but there was no answer.
He’d called around. Tried the local hospital. But there was no trace of her.
At some point in the night, impossible though it seemed, she had disappeared.
And, with nearly a week gone, it looked like she wasn’t planning on coming back anytime soon.
1 (#ua6e7cdfc-c565-5e65-b5ef-dd29e1381635)
Sarah Havenant glanced at her phone as she walked to Examining Room Three. She was expecting a message from Ben, her husband, telling her whether he could pick up their son, Miles – a mere seven years old but, all of a sudden, every bit the rebellious teenager, which was a surprising and unwelcome transformation – from the farm camp where he was spending a week of his summer vacation. If not it meant she would have to leave the Barrow Medical Center as soon as she finished work and head over there to get him, which would mean no stop at the gym on the way home and no workout.
And today, more than most days, she needed a workout, because she had just come from a patient who Sarah had told, sitting there in the examining room, that the results of the tests she had been for were not good; in fact, they were awful, and, given the particular form of cancer she had, it was probable her life expectancy would be measured in months and not years.
The patient – Amy, she was called – had left almost without a word. Her husband was with her; he had started asking questions, but Amy had stood up and shook her head and told him they could get more details later, but right now all she wanted to do was leave.
I want to go and see Isla, she’d said.
Isla, her nine-month-old daughter. A daughter who would, barring a miracle, shortly be motherless.
So she needed the gym. And then she would go home to Ben and Miles and five-year-old Faye and two-year-old Kim and a meal and then stories and bathtime and bed. And she would make sure to say a prayer of thanks – even though she was not religious in any way – for her family.
But there was no message from Ben. There was, however, a Facebook friend request, from a name she hadn’t thought of for a long time. A decade, at least.
Rachel Little.
Who was not really a friend. She’d been at Barrow High School with Sarah, but she’d not been part of Sarah’s circle. She’d not been part of anyone’s circle, really. She didn’t fit; high school was carefully stratified into tribes – jocks, cheer squad, chess club – and Rachel was into tarot readings and the occult and weird food fads. It probably wasn’t true, but Sarah remembered her eating and drinking nothing but home-made vegetable juices, which she enthused about to anybody who would listen.
Rachel had been tall and long-limbed, but not in a graceful way. In a not-quite-in-control of her hands and feet way, and her hands and feet were prominent, because she always wore pants and long-sleeved shirts – never dresses or skirts or tank tops or T-shirts – and they were always too short for those long, gangly limbs.
But still, she was nice enough, and it would be interesting to see what she was up to. That was one of the great things about Facebook. You could keep in touch with lots and lots of people in a non-committal way. Ben thought it was a waste of time – he’d deleted his account a few months back – but Sarah liked it. She liked people, and she was interested in their lives.
She paused at the door to Examining Room Three – inside was her last patient of the day, a hypochondriac man in his early forties who enjoyed splendid good health but was convinced he was dying – and opened the friend request.
Hi Sarah! It’s me, Rachel! Recently got on Facebook (a bit late but you know me – not exactly with it!) and thought I’d look you up. Hope you’re well. I’m in the process of moving back to Barrow so maybe we’ll catch up. One question – is this the right account for you or is it the other one (with your name and photo on)?
Sarah frowned and typed a response.
Rachel! Would love to catch up. At work or I’d write more. And I only have one account – this one!
She sent the reply, walked into Examining Room Three, and forgot all about it.
Ben, it turned out, was able to pick up Miles. His message – OK re: Miles – was typical of him. He treated email and text messages as vehicles to pass on the maximum of information with the minimum of words. He claimed it was because he was British and didn’t believe in idle chat, but Sarah thought it was really because he harbored some vague idea that the more words you wrote, the more the message could cost. Either way, Miles was taken care of, so she stopped at the gym on her way home and joined, a few minutes late, a spinning class. Afterwards, she walked outside with Abby, a marketing graduate in her mid-twenties who had played lacrosse in college and who took, it seemed to Sarah, a too obvious pleasure in out-spinning the late-thirties moms and retirees who made up much of the gym-going population of Barrow.
�Ugh,’ Abby said. �So hard. My thighs were burning. She’s the best instructor.’
She was Tanya, a woman who was a few years older than Sarah but who had a body that, as a doctor, Sarah considered to be a marvel of medical science. She did the class with her charges but, when they were dissolving into puddles of their own sweat, she was untroubled. And, as she spun, she would shout out what to do next. The fact she was capable of rational thought was impressive; that she could speak was amazing; that she could shout was beyond belief. Although it was ridiculous – she was a thirty-eight-year-old mother of three with a husband with whom she still had an active (and not unadventurous) sex life – Sarah had, she realized, a bit of a crush on Tanya. Not – she didn’t think – in a sexual way, but in a I-want-to-be-this-person way. She was awestruck by Tanya, and found herself wanting to impress her with her spinning skills, a mission which was likely to result only in Tanya wondering why Sarah was so easily reduced to a red-faced and panting wreck.
�She is phenomenal,’ Sarah said. �I don’t know how she does it.’
�Lots of hard work,’ Abby said, with the literal-mindedness of the young. �There’s no secret sauce that gets you in shape.’
�I guess so,’ Sarah replied, wishing there was a secret sauce that got you in shape. She took her phone and car keys from her bag. �See you next time, hopefully.’
�I’ll be here for Thursday’s class,’ Abby said. �See you then.’
Sarah nodded and opened her car door. She put the keys in and started the engine. As she waited for the air-conditioning to kick in she looked at her phone.
There was a new message from Rachel.
Great! I’ll let you know when I’m back in Barrow. And here’s the other account in your name! It’s definitely you!
There was a link. Sarah tapped it with her forefinger and it brought up a Facebook account.
She frowned. It was her name. Sarah Havenant.
She scanned the page. Married to Ben. Mother of three kids.
And the profile photo was of her. She was smiling and looking straight at the camera, standing by an ice rink they had skated at a lot last winter. She remembered that particular day: she was wearing the coat she’d bought at one of the outlet stores in Freeport. It was made from some new material – super lightweight but super warm – and she’d been struck by how much she wished they’d had things like this when they grew up; most of her childhood winters had been spent wrapped in so many layers it made movement practically impossible.
But it was all irrelevant. The question was, why the hell was there a Facebook account purporting to be her? And, more to the point, who had set it up?
She scrolled down.
And froze.
The most recent post was from that morning. It was a photo of Miles, Faye and Kim sitting on a beach towel eating peanut butter sandwiches, and it had a caption:
Turns out Kim likes sand sandwiches. Thanks to her older siblings for putting the sand in her sandwich and helping her discover this!
Sarah stared at the screen. This was not some random photo of her at an ice rink six months ago. This had happened yesterday.
They had been at the beach, and, at lunchtime Miles and Faye – it was more Faye, in truth – had told their youngest sibling the reason they were called sandwiches was because they had sand in them, and, desperate for attention, Kim had nodded agreement. Smiling, they had spread mayonnaise on bread, sprinkled it with a liberal dose of fresh, warm sand and handed it to her.
Mmm, Kim said, as they encouraged her to eat it. I love sandwiches.
But no one else knew about it. They had come home late in the afternoon, and, once the kids were in bed, Sarah had spent the rest of the evening getting ready for work.
Slowly, she began to scroll through the rest of the post.
2 (#ua6e7cdfc-c565-5e65-b5ef-dd29e1381635)
She could not believe what she saw.
The next post was a photo of her and Ben on a date a few weeks earlier at a Japanese restaurant. They were sharing a sushi boat and a bottle of white wine; the photo had been taken from behind Ben and she was listening to him, her right hand resting on her glass. The caption read:
Date night with my wonderful husband. We need to do this more often!
It was, she realized, exactly the sort of banal post she would have written.
Except she hadn’t. Someone else had. And they had done more, many more.
A photo of her in a Greek wine bar in Portland with Toni and Anne, her two best college friends, on a night out in early spring. Caption: Girls night! Yay! A photo of her and Jean, a teaching assistant in the local kindergarten who Sarah had known all her life, after a 10k race they’d run in April. It had rained nonstop throughout, an old-fashioned downpour, and they were dripping wet, and grinning. Caption: Bit rainy but no problem. My delightful British husband said before we set off �Nothing to worry about. This is just drizzle back home.’ He then proceeded to pull out his golf umbrella, hand warmers and flask of hot tea.
Ben had said those very words, then waited at the finish line under his umbrella, sipping his drink.
Holy shit. What was this? What was this and who had done it?
It got worse.
A photo of Faye’s pre-school production of The Giant Turnip, Faye at the left of the stage dressed as a carrot.
A photo of the kids building a snowman on the town square.
A photo of Sarah sipping hot chocolate in the Little Cat Café, a sheaf of papers on the table in front of her. She’d been researching an article and had gone to the café to arrange her thoughts.
A photo, from February, of her new kitchen, installed over the winter months.
Caption: Finished! I love this!
A photo which had been taken inside her house.
The air-conditioning in the car was now fully up and running, cold air flowing from the vents and washing over her, but she barely noticed it. She had goose pimples up and down her arms and legs, but it was not the cold air raising them. It was not the cold air chilling her.
It was the photos. Of her, of Ben, of her house.
Of her kids.
Who was doing this? It had to be someone who was at all these places, someone who was at the beach yesterday and out on date nights with her and there when she was with her girlfriends and at Faye’s pre-school performances.
There was no one. Not even Ben.
And why? Was it some kind of a joke? Maybe all her friends were in on it – which would explain how they had so many photos – but why? What did they get from it? And why do it for six months without telling her? Why do it at all?
It made no sense.
Worse, she thought, a cruel trick by my friends is the best explanation I can hope for. I have no idea what the alternatives are, but I bet none of them are good.
She looked back down at her phone and scrolled through the photos. This was not her friends. A joke at her expense – perhaps a fake Facebook account in her name in which she made off-color jokes or revealing admissions about her sex life – was just about possible. Toni had been a bit of a prankster in college – calling for pizzas for other people’s houses, that kind of thing – and, although she had mostly grown out of it, she still retained part of her juvenile nature. She always would. It was in her blood. Her father and two elder brothers never stopped playing tricks on each other, Toni and her long-suffering mom. The first time Sarah had stayed at their house on Cape Cod, in the summer of their freshman year in college, Marty, Toni’s dad, had made boiled eggs for breakfast, serving them in dainty porcelain egg cups with neatly sliced toast glistening with butter besides them.
Eat, he said. It’s my specialty.
Boiled eggs aren’t much of a specialty, Dad, Toni replied, still sleepy.
These I call Marty’s Boiled Eggs Surprise, he said. Dig in.
Sarah tapped the shell with her spoon. It cracked and she pulled it away. For a second she didn’t understand, then she looked up at Marty – he insisted she call him Marty and not Mr Gorchoff, which made her feel grown up and a bit uncomfortable at the same time – and told him the egg was empty. It was a hollow shell.
That’s the surprise! he said. Your egg’s not there.
He passed her a mug of coffee. She took a sip, and then another – it was a wonderful, heady brew – then glimpsed a sudden blaze of color among the brown, muddy coffee, which disappeared when she held the coffee mug upright.
She tilted it again, and there it was.
An egg yolk.
Mr Gor— Marty, she said. There’s an egg in there!
That’s the other part of the surprise, he said. But don’t worry! They’re organic!
She had spent the rest of the weekend in terror of the next little �surprise’, but mercifully she had been left alone. Toni, however, had grown up being constantly subjected to pranks which were a touch cruel and more than a touch irresponsible – so it was not impossible she would have set up a fake Facebook account in her friend’s name.
But not one with Sarah’s kids on it.
Like most of her mom friends, Sarah was a little tentative about putting photos of her children up on the Internet, whatever Facebook said about privacy, so she restricted access to her account to only her friends, and then she was careful about what she put up there.
But this account was public. These photos were there for all the world to see. And even Toni would not have gone this far in the service of some prank.
Which left who? Ben? He’d have access to the photos – he could get them from her phone – but she couldn’t imagine him doing it. He’d have to have set it up on his work computer and then made sure she never saw any of the notifications and emails that would come in. She often used his phone, and – she wasn’t proud of this, but it was true nonetheless – gave his emails and text messages a quick scan. They were reassuringly boring. Stuff from his colleagues about operating committee presentations and legal reviews and seeking board approval and texts from his friends about where to watch the game and whether they had a pass from the wife to go out.
No, if it was Ben, he would have had to employ a level of deception she did not think he had in him, not least because his utter cluelessness about how computers worked would have to be a long-standing deception requiring a level of acting talent she was pretty sure was beyond him.
Pretty sure. But you never really knew. You heard of stranger things in marriages.
She shook her head and dismissed the thought. There was no way this was Ben.
But then who? Who the fuck was doing this?
3 (#ua6e7cdfc-c565-5e65-b5ef-dd29e1381635)
So, she has found it, finally. It has taken a while. It has been there for six months, a piece of bait, dangling in the water. But she has not sensed it until now. Not been aware of its presence. She is not the most observant of people – surprising, for a doctor – which works against her. It makes it easier to do a thing like this.
Obviously she does not Google herself. That is a mistake. It’s always a good idea to know what is out there, to have the best available information, to know what your enemy knows. But then, if you don’t even know you have an enemy, why would you bother?
She will be wondering who did it, who put these photos up there, and she will be asking herself why, but she will not figure it out. Her mind does not work in such a way. She sees no reason why anybody would do this to her. She doesn’t even know how they would do it, although the who and the how are closely related. Understand one, and she will understand the other.
But she will understand neither.
Not, at least, until it is too late.
Because this is only the beginning. This Facebook account is merely the hook that lodges in the mouth of the fish. The fish thinks the hook is its only problem, thinks that if it can only get rid of it, then all will be well again in its world.
But it is wrong. Because the hook is attached to a line which is attached to a rod which is held by a hand. And the hand is controlled by a mind, a mind which has been waiting and watching and plotting the best time and place and method to catch the fish.
And so the fish struggles to free itself, but all it manages to do is to embed the hook deeper. And as it continues to wriggle and fight it uses up its supplies of energy until it is too exhausted to continue, and then its struggles wane.
And the hand senses it, and begins to wind in the reel …
So far she has only felt the prick of the hook in her cheek. The rest – the struggles, the fight, her eventual destruction – is yet to come.
Fun. This will be fun. Fishing always is.
Revenge always is.
4 (#ulink_2ef7bdc6-fe4f-5f0d-a453-44af2c9c6fbf)
Sarah parked next to Ben’s car – a dark blue (night mineral blue, according to the salesman who had sold it to them when Miles was an infant) family sedan. America’s favorite: a Toyota Camry. Sensible, reliable, fuel-efficient, strong residuals. And needing to be replaced, soon.
A few weeks back, Ben had mentioned getting a convertible to replace it.
OK, but get one with five seats, she said.
They don’t make them with five seats, he replied. The roof has to fold into the body of the car so it reduces the space available for a back seat. It’s normally two at most.
She looked at him, her expression a mixture of amusement and incredulity. But we have three kids, Ben. What’s the plan? Make Miles ride his bike?
We have your car if we need to go somewhere all together, he replied. I only really drive this to work. And it’d be nice in the summer to have the top down.
But what if you do need to take all three? What if I’m away for the weekend and something happens?
I’d get a cab, he said. And you can always think of reasons why we would need two big cars. But most of the time we don’t.
Fine, she said. If that’s your priority.
It’s not a question of priorities, he replied. I’d simply like to have a convertible. But never mind. Perhaps it’s a stupid idea. Early onset midlife crisis.
And they left it there. She felt bad about having dented his dream; in truth, she wasn’t sure why she didn’t want him to get a convertible. It would have been nice for her to drive it, too. It was simply … well, it did reek of a midlife crisis. In some vague way she found it a threat, a sign he was making decisions based on his own needs and not the needs of the family. Anyway, she’d tell him to go ahead and get his convertible. She’d be happy for him. At least, she’d try to be.
That was for later. For now, she was glad his current car was there. It meant he was home.
Ben was sitting on the couch, Kim on his lap. He was reading the book of the moment, Hairy Scary Monster, which Kim demanded incessantly. Ben was a very patient dad – it was one of the things Sarah loved about him – but even he would balk at the seventh or eighth reading of the same kids’ book during the same bedtime.
�You’re reading Hairy Scary Monster,’ Sarah said. �Imagine.’
�Only the second reading today,’ Ben said. �So it still retains that fresh feeling common to all great literature.’
�Daddy, read,’ Kim said. She fit the profile of a third child exactly: with two older siblings she had learned to fight for her fair share of whatever commodity was up for grabs – attention, cake, time on the trampoline. She was desperate to be in the gang, whatever the cost, which was what had led to the sand sandwich episode on the beach.
�Hey,’ Sarah said. �Something pretty weird happened today.’
�At the clinic?’
�No. I got a friend request from someone I went to high school with. She’s moving back to Barrow.’
�What’s weird about that? Plenty of people move here. I moved here from London.’ He grinned at her. �But then I had a good reason to.’
�That’s not the weird part.’
�Daddy,’ Kim said. �Read!’
�One moment, petal,’ Ben said. �Mummy and I are talking. So what was the weird part?’
Kim grabbed her dad’s hand and put it on the book. �Read!’ she said. �Read Hairy Scary Monster.’
Ben rolled his eyes. �Can we talk about this later?’ he said. �I don’t think Kim is too keen on having her story interrupted.’
It was nearly nine o’clock by the time they got round to talking about it. As she was putting Miles to bed he started telling her about farm camp – they had washed a pig with a hose and he was wondering whether they could get a pig as a family pet. Sarah explained that pigs weren’t really pets, and they didn’t have time to take care of one, but Miles demurred: he would take care of it, he insisted. And not only would he look after it night and day, he would do lots of jobs to earn money to buy it fun toys.
Let’s start with a pet which is a bit less ambitious, Sarah told him. Like a goldfish.
Or hairless rats, Miles said. Anthony has hairless rats.
Sarah shook her head. She’d seen those hairless rats; she wasn’t squeamish – she was a doctor – but they were not the most beautiful members of the animal kingdom.
Goldfish, she said. And if you can take care of those, maybe a hamster.
And then a pig? Miles said.
Maybe then a pig, Sarah said, confident they would never make it to that point.
Downstairs, she poured two glasses of wine. Ben was on the couch, his laptop open on his knee. She handed him a drink.
�Work?’ Sarah said.
�Cleaning up email,’ Ben said. �No big deal.’
With Ben it was never a big deal. He was a lawyer and she knew he had some stressful cases, but he never brought it home.
There’s no point worrying about work, he’d say, adding his favorite quote: �worry is a dividend paid to disaster before it’s due’. You spend your time thinking about things that might never happen. It’s pointless. If it happens, figure it out. If it doesn’t, don’t worry about it.
And he didn’t. Which was one of the things Sarah – who did worry, who had always worried, to a fault – loved about him.
�So,’ she said. �Miles wants a pig.’
�Presumably his desire for a pig is not the weird thing you mentioned earlier? Because it seems exactly the sort of thing Miles would want.’
�No. I’ll show you the weird thing.’ She picked up her phone and opened the fake Facebook account. She passed it to him. �Take a look.’
He scrolled down the screen. �I don’t get it,’ he said. �What’s weird about this? I know I don’t use it, but isn’t this what Facebook is for? Sharing photos? Telling people that you have alfalfa sprouts in your smoothie?’
�It is. And I’m amazed you know what an alfalfa sprout is.’ She paused. �But this isn’t my account.’
Ben frowned. �What do you mean? The photos are of you. And the kids.’
�I know. But I didn’t know it was there until today. Rachel, the friend who sent a friend request, asked me which account was mine. I hadn’t set eyes on it until then.’ She took the phone and switched to her account. �This is me. The real me.’
Ben looked at the screen for a few seconds, then put the phone on the couch next to him. �So who set it up?’ he said.
�That’s exactly what I want to know,’ Sarah replied. �I have no idea.’
Ben stared at her. �This is weird,’ he said. �But let’s think about it logically. Who could have set it up?’
�I don’t know. No one.’
�It would need to be someone who was at those places. And there aren’t many photos. About eight, in total? So it wouldn’t be too difficult to do.’
�But no one was at all those places.’
�Maybe it was someone who has access to your phone,’ Ben said.
�But I didn’t take all those photos. Like the one of me and you at the Japanese restaurant. It looks as though it was taken from somewhere inside. It wasn’t me who took it.’
�So either it was someone who happened to be at all those places, but who would have had a good reason to be there so you wouldn’t have noticed anything out of place, or it’s someone who knew you would be there and went – surreptitiously – to take the photos.’ He raised his hands in mock fear. �Which would mean you have some kind of stalker.’
�Ben!’ Sarah said. �Don’t joke about it! It’s not funny!’
�Sarah,’ he said. �I don’t think you have a stalker.’
�Maybe not. But no jokes.’
�OK,’ he said. �No jokes. But let’s see if we can narrow it down. Let’s start with the most recent photo. We’ll remember that best. Who was at the beach yesterday?’
�Lots of people. It was a hot Sunday in summer in Maine. Everyone heads to the water.’
�Let’s list them.’
�Mel was there, with Anthony and James. I think I saw Bill, her husband, as well. Then there was Jean and her two kids. Lizzie and Toby were there with their girls. And I saw Miles’s kindergarten teacher. She was at the other end of the beach to us.’ Sarah shrugged. �There were lots of people.’
Ben puffed out his cheeks. �All I can think is, it’s some kind of a joke,’ he said. �Someone’s winding you up.’
�It’s a possibility,’ Sarah said. �But there’s still the question of who would do such a thing. Whoever it was would have to have been in all those places.’
�Not necessarily. It could be a few of your friends. They could have shared photos with each other.’
�I suppose,’ Sarah said. �But it seems a very elaborate trick.’
�Well,’ Ben said. �I wouldn’t worry—’
Sarah’s phone buzzed. She looked at the screen and held up her hand to silence him.
There was a notification. From Facebook.
She opened it, and blinked. She did not believe what she was seeing.
�Holy shit,’ she said.
�What?’
�It’s a friend request.’ She looked at her husband. �From me. From Sarah Havenant. From the fake account.’
5 (#ulink_9ef9945e-d36e-5966-867a-8ccd0abcc3c1)
Friend Request: Sarah Havenant. Confirm / Delete.
Sarah knew it was nothing, just digital information rendered into text by some software, but that didn’t stop her from feeling very disoriented. It was odd to see your own name and photo asking you to be a friend.
I’m Sarah Havenant, she thought. Not you. Not you, whoever you are.
�Can I see?’ Ben held out his hand for the phone. He stared at the screen. �This is weird,’ he said. �Really weird. It’s got to be some kind of a joke. There’s no other explanation.’
There was a confidence in his tone which Sarah found reassuring. Ben was quick to analyze a situation – a legal case, a friendship, a problem with the kids’ behavior – and quick to understand what was important, which gave him a sense of clarity in the stages before the facts came in. It was how they had got married. They met in a club in London when Sarah was at a work conference there, and they’d kissed. Nothing more had happened that night, but they’d arranged to get together before she left. It turned out �before she left’ meant the next night, and the next, and the next. The last night she was there he told her they were going to get married.
She had laughed. It’s a bit early for a wedding, isn’t it?
Take it the right way, he said. It’s not a proposal. It’s a prediction. I can tell. I get the same feeling at work. We have some case come in and there are all kinds of competing opinions and contracts and noise and I look the guy in the eye and know he’s a crook. Which is the only important thing to know. And it’s the same with you. The only important thing is that I already know we’re getting married. The rest is merely details.
But I live in Maine. I’m at the beginning of a residency in a hospital in my hometown. And I’m only here until tomorrow.
Like I said, he replied, mere details.They can work themselves out.
And they did. The next day she decided to change her flight and stay on a while. They went to Stonehenge and Edinburgh and Durham and Hadrian’s Wall and then she really had to go home.
Once she was back in Maine, they had a long-distance relationship, a kind of relationship which she had always been convinced would never work, but in this case, it did: and it did because of Ben and his certainty. He called almost every day, visited once a month – he always came to her – and then, nine months after they met, he asked her to marry him.
Are you sure? she said, aware this was not the normal response.
Yes, he said. I’m always sure.
And it was this certainty that had led them to get married and for him to give up his legal career in London and move to Maine and have kids. It was a powerful force, his certainty, and she found it, in truth, a little frightening. It was fine when it was working in the same direction as her, but she had wondered, more than once, what would happen if it started to work in a different direction. One day he might decide their marriage was over, might analyze their situation and decide it was hopeless, and then his certainty would take him inexorably away from her.
But for now she was glad he had decided this Facebook account was nothing more than a joke. She only hoped it was true.
�Have you talked to anyone else about this?’ he said. He had a thoughtful look on his face, as if something had occurred to him.
She shook her head.
�No one at all? No one knows you found out about this?’
�No one. Why are you asking? What are you getting at?’
�The timing,’ he said. �It’s a bit – well, it’s a little bit odd, don’t you think?’
�The timing of what?’
�The friend request from the other Sarah Havenant. It’s odd it should come in now, on the same day you found out about the profile. I mean, it’s been up there a while. Why today? It’s quite a coincidence, if indeed it is a coincidence.’
Sarah’s stomach tightened. �You think it’s not a coincidence? Someone knows I found out, and that’s why they sent it?’
�Maybe,’ Ben said. �But it helps, right? Figure out who could know you got the friend request and you know who sent it.’
�No one knows,’ Sarah said. �How would anyone know?’
�What about the person who told you there was another account in your name? What was her name?’
�Rachel,’ she said. �Rachel Little.’
�Maybe it was her. She’d know you’d found the account, since she told you about it.’
�No,’ Sarah said. �It can’t be her. She’s not been in Barrow for years.’
Ben shrugged. �Ask her.’
�Maybe I will. But first I need to speak to Jean.’
6 (#ulink_499b8fc4-7784-52ec-91c0-26562a5d3b1c)
Jean lived on the next street. To walk on the road was about a half mile, but there was a path through the trees which connected their backyards. Sarah called on her way along it to let her friend know she was coming.
Thankfully, Jean was still up. Even though it was only half past nine, that was not a given: she was a single mom with two adopted kids, so early nights were the norm. Her former husband – father of the two kids she had adopted – had died three years ago in a hit-and-run car accident. They never found the driver; there was a stolen car, abandoned a few miles away with a dent in the hood, a web of cracks in the windshield, and an empty bottle of whiskey in the footwell. There was also a syringe on the passenger seat.
The car had been stolen from the Rite-Aid car park in Barrow; the cops had CCTV footage of it leaving the car park but they could not identify the driver, who was wearing a hooded top. They assumed it was a petty thief looking to make a few bucks for their next fix of heroin, which was the drug of choice in Maine for those who could not get their hands on prescription opiates.
She’d had a rough time of it, Jean, but she was one of those people who somehow managed to carry on. Even after Jack had died, she’d tried to focus on the positives. She’d said to Sarah that at least she had the kids – she couldn’t have any of her own – so they would be her family for the rest of her life.
They were lucky to have her as a mom, Sarah replied. As she was to have her as a friend.
Sarah opened the back door and walked into the kitchen.
�Hi,’ Jean said. She was making sandwiches for her sons’ lunches. �What’s up?’
�Well,’ Sarah said. �It’s been one of those days.’
Jean raised an eyebrow. �Oh?’
�Did you hear about Rachel Little?’
�Coming back to Barrow?’ Jean nodded. �She sent me a friend request.’
�Me too,’ Sarah said. �Anything weird about yours?’
�No,’ Jean said. �What do you mean, weird?’
�Well, she asked me which was my true profile.’
Jean pursed her lips and frowned. �I don’t get it.’
Sarah passed her phone to Jean. �She meant this.’
Jean put the knife down and swiped her finger over the screen. She studied it for a few seconds.
�Holy shit,’ she said. �What the hell is this?’
�That’s my question. And ten minutes ago I got a friend request. From this fake account. So someone knew I’d just found out about it.’
�Oh my God,’ Jean said. �Who would know? And who was at all the places the photos were taken?’
�Nobody I can think of,’ Sarah said. �Other than me.’
�Right. And it wasn’t you.’
Sarah paused. �Ben thought it might be Rachel. She knew I’d seen the account, because she alerted me to it.’
�I guess,’ Jean said. �But I don’t know how it could be her. How would she have got the photos? She’d need to have been around Barrow for the last six months, which rules her out. She’s been on the West Coast.’
They looked at Rachel’s profile to check; she had been working as a psychologist in San Diego, specializing in grief counseling and post-traumatic stress disorder. It made sense; there was a large military presence down there. That was all there was, though: her profile was only a few weeks old.
�She’s new to Facebook,’ Sarah said. �So it could all be bullshit she put on her profile, when all along she’s been much closer to home.’
�Maybe,’ Jean said. She looked doubtful. �But it seems a bit of a stretch. And you still have the question of why she would be doing this. You guys got along OK in high school, right?’
�More or less. She was pretty quiet. I didn’t have much to do with her.’ Sarah paused. �Although there was one time we were kind of at odds, over that guy Jeremy.’
Jean nodded slowly. �I remember,’ she said. �Sort of. But it was no big deal, right?’
Jeremy had showed up in their sophomore year of high school. He’d come from somewhere in California and he was a new and exotic addition to their lives. He surfed – at least he said he did – talked with authentic West Coast slang about all the grunge clubs in Seattle he’d been to, and wore clothes that Sarah and most of her friends had only seen on MTV.
A week or so into the school year he had asked Sarah out for coffee. She went along; he was funny and charming, but underneath all the clothes and surface cool she realized he was terribly immature. She doubted the truth of most of his stories, and so, after a few more dates, she told him she was no longer interested.
Before she did so, there had been an odd encounter with Rachel. After school one day Rachel had grabbed her elbow and steered her into a classroom. She looked exhausted and on edge, and she asked Sarah what was going on with Jeremy.
Nothing much, Sarah replied. He’s nice but there’s no spark.
Rachel had tears in her eyes when she spoke. Then leave him for me, she said. Leave him for someone who cares.
Before Sarah could reply the door opened and one of the teachers – an English teacher called Mrs Coffin – came in, and Rachel scuttled away.
As far as Sarah knew, she and Jeremy never got together, and in any case, six months later Jeremy was gone, his dad’s job transferred back to the West Coast. Until now, Sarah had never thought of him again.
But all that was nothing to do with this. It was years ago, and it had been irrelevant even back then.
�I think it’s all a coincidence,’ Sarah said.
�So whoever’s behind this just happened to send it today?’ Jean replied. �Bit weird.’
�I hope so,’ Sarah said. �Because the alternative is someone’s watching me.’
She poured a glass of wine; Jean didn’t drink a great deal but she had half a bottle someone had left after a cook-out at the weekend. She stared at the red liquid, looking at her distorted reflection. It was ridiculous. Either this was some kind of elaborate joke or Rachel Little was doing it or there was some fucking stalker out there, but whatever it was, it was crazy.
And it had been going on for six months. For six months someone had been on Facebook, pretending to be her. The more she thought about it, the more scared she became.
�Who’s she friends with?’ Jean said. �The fake Sarah? Who’s been looking at her posts?’
�I checked,’ Sarah said. �A bunch of random people; no one we know. You know how Facebook is.’ Sarah shook her head. �Which means this is purely for me.’
Jean smiled, but they had been close friends long enough for Sarah to recognize it as a smile she was forcing on to her lips.
�It’ll be fine,’ she said. �Soon we’ll be looking back at this as some weird shit that happened in the past.’
�I hope so,’ Sarah said. �I really hope so.’
7 (#ulink_5643bdff-87e1-5fa3-a3e3-a9f74582be0a)
This is all part of the plan. She is confused, naturally. She starts to question things. People. Friends. Events. She wonders what happened. She wonders whether there is a link between the friend request from her fake self to her real self and the fact it came on the same day she discovered her fake self. She considers there must be. But what? And why? And who? She cannot work this out, so she will think it might be a coincidence. And this thought will be nice and comforting and so gradually she will let this thought become her explanation.
A coincidence. Yes, it is a coincidence. The alternative – a stalker, watching her, hidden in the shadows – is too awful to contemplate, so a coincidence it is.
But she is wrong. She has been watched for a long time. Watched until she found the Facebook account.
Finally. For now, after all the planning and waiting and watching, it truly starts. It has been a long time in the weaving, this tangled web. And now she has taken one thread of it, and she will start to pull.
She will pull and it will unravel in ways she cannot imagine. For there are many threads. And as she thinks she is making progress, as she thinks she is figuring this all out, she will discover the truth.
In untangling the web, she has merely become trapped in it.
Stuck fast.
A fish in a net. And the more she struggles, the tighter it will grip her.
Until there is no way out.
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